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classroom
the lecturer is taking the class seriously..
one of the student looking towards the window side in the classroom.. the lecturer asks the student.. for what purpose are you coming school??
student: for vidhya sir
lecturee: then why you are looking towards window?
student: vidhya's girlfriend not reached the school yet now
Views : 354 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Jul 2016
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birthday ka tofa
biwi: aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha, iss dafa apka kya iraada hai?
shohar: iss saal uss mein current chrone ka iraada hai
Views : 469 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Jul 2016
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is ka kya karen?
robert: bass is gaddar ka kya karen?
ajeet: ise sui chubo kar mar daalo.. pulees samjhegi ki suicide hua hai
Views : 440 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Jul 2016
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pay your tax
income tax officer gives tips to a young lady , you should pay your income tax with smile.
the lady replied, i have tried it thrice but every time they insist on cash or cheque.
Views : 247 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Jul 2016
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time is everything
a guy shows up late for work.. the boss yells u should've been here at 8.30..
the guy replies why?? what happened at 8.30???
Views : 242 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Mar 2016
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u love me
the girl asked to the boy.. are u sure u love me and no one else??
the boy replied.. dead sure i have checked the whole list again yesterday...
Views : 417 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Mar 2016
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american holiday
osama consults a psychic about the date of his death...
psychic: u will die on an american holiday...
osama: which one??
psychic: anyday you die shall be an american holiday..
Views : 204 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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laloo and bush
bush: tujhe swimming aata hai???
laloo: no..
bush: tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai..
laloo: tujhe aati hai??
bush: haan...
laloo: fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai...
Views : 306 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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a frog telephoned
a frog telephoned the psychic hot line and was told... u are going to meet a beautiful young women who will want to know everything about u....
the frog said... that's great... will i meet her at a party or what???
no... said the pscychic next term in her biology class...
Views : 181 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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night clubs
one friend is telling to another friend.... always i have seen u have taken ur wife only night clubs... why???
the friend replied.... by the times she gets ready no other places are open....
Views : 221 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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no disc
santa: kal movie dekhi usme na koi scene tha na koi awaaz...
banta: naam kya tha film ka...
santa: no disc...
Views : 355 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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gadha ki kami thi
busme bahut bhidthi...
ek aadmi ne bus mein ghuste hue kaha: lagta hai bus mein janvar bhara hai...
bus mein aadmi haste hue kaha: yaha sabhi tarah ke janvar yaha hai sirf ek gadhe ki kami thi...
Views : 329 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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long celebration
wife: woh admi jo drink kar raha hai usko maine lo saal pehle shaadi ke liye inkaar kia tha... dekho who aas tak sharab pee raha hai...
husband: wow... itni lambi celebration...
Views : 316 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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i am going
santa: i am going ka matlab batao...
banta: main ja raha hoon..
santa: main nahi jane dunga pehle matlab....
Views : 259 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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kabristan
mohan and sihan were sitting in a kabristan and were talking..
mohan: dekho murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sota hai...
sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: kyun na soye yen jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai...
Views : 288 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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when is the marriage
once a friend telling to his another friend u know me and my girlfriend is going to marry soon...
his friend become happy and told... that's good when will u marry...
the friend replied... she will marry on 2nd january and i will on 24th feb....
Views : 213 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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which bee bite u
lady: one of ur bees just stung me... i want u to something about it...
beekeeper: certainly madam.. just show me which bee it was and i'll have a punishment...
Views : 218 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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first real fight
after 3 years me and my wife had our first real fight last night...
i called my dad for advice on how to fix things...
he told me to apologize and admit i was wrong...
i was really looking for advice on how to dispose of the body....
Views : 164 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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janwar hai usko kya pata
a sardarji goes to jurassic park...
when the dinosaur start approaching he is cowering in his seat...
when his friend ask him... kyon sardarji kya baat hai??? dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai....
sardarji replies... aadmi hoon aur akkal hai patna hi ki cinema hai lekin woh to janwar hai...
Views : 297 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Dec 2015
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hutch network is following me
one day a dog was running behind a santa .....
but santa was laughing..
banta asked why u are so happy???
he said... i have an airtel mobile with me... but still hutch network is following me...
Views : 194 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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sardarji with choice
once a sardarji was going to office...
on the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt...
next day he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed array as to choice hai..
Views : 183 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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banta at court
judge: u are charged with throwing ur mother in law out of ur fourth story window...
banta: i did it without thinking... ur honor...
judge: that's no excuse... don't u see how dangerous it might have been for anyone passing by at the time...
Views : 211 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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santa in kitchen
sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox sees inside and closes it...
his wife observes the whole episode.... again he comes and does the same stuff...
wife asks... why r u doing this??
sardar replies... doctor told me to check sugar level regularly...
Views : 176 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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smile please
sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function...
suddenly all relatives beat him..
why??
he said.... smile please...
Views : 175 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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parking for 2 wheelers only
santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto...
banta asks: why are u removing a wheel from auto??
santa: cant u read parking for 2 wheelers only...
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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expelled for poor eyesight
a middle aged man was walking down the street... he saw a business acquaintance looking downcast...
jim is everything okay?? he asked...
not it is not... my son was expelled from college because of his poor eyesight....
the man was shocked and replied how could they expel ur son for his eyesight???
jim answered.. he mistook his dean of women for one of the co eds
Views : 170 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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no way jose
first soldier: pass me the chocolate pudding would u???
second soldier: no way jose..
first soldier: why not???
second soldier: it is against regulation to help another soldier to desserts. ...
Views : 152 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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hunga pratful
hunga: praful alphabet matlab..
pratful: alphabet hansa... local train mein safar karte hoye maasi jaise hi koi seat khali dekhti hai to wo apni beti alpha se kya kehti hai???
hunga: alpha beth seat pe... alpha beth toh teh alphabet...
Views : 171 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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a perfect gift for birthday
a husband and wife were shopping at a mall..
after some shopping the wife said ... darling it my mother's birthday tomorrow... what shall we buy for her??? she would like some electric...
the husband replied how about a electric chair???
Views : 241 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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cold coffee
a boyfriend takes his girlfriend on a date... they went to a coffe shop and they ordered coffee...
the boy told to his girlfriend drink quickly before it get cold...
girlfriend asked with surprise why????
the boy replied don't u see.. hot coffee is for 5 dollars and cold coffee for 10 dollars...
Views : 335 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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sandal nikalu kya
boy: jaan e man... ees dil me aaja ma??
girl: sandal nikalu kya??
boy: pagli.. yeh mandir nahi... aise hi aaja..
Views : 303 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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cant feel my legs
a man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries doc.. doc... i cant feel my legs..
well ofcourse u cant silly... replies the doc... i've cut off both of ur arms....
Views : 231 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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Mrs banta singh habit
mrs banta singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone... sometimes going on over an hour...
one day he hung up after 25mns..
what is the matter today? asked her husband. .. today u have less than half an hour conversation on the phone...
i got a wrong number... replied mrs banta singh....
Views : 217 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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u dont know my father
teacher: tumhare papa 500rs loan latenai.. 10 percent interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai.. batao kitne paisa vapid karenga???
bania'sson: much bhi nahi..
teacher: tum maths nahi jante...
bania's son: main toh maths janta hoon par aap mere papa ko nahi jante...
Views : 206 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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insane talks
angry pagal: oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga mita... dunga mita... dunga mita...
dusra pagal standing besides said: mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga..
Views : 302 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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jab gabbar paida hua
jab gubber paida hua to uski maan ne usse 3 to 4 thappad lagaye...
gabbar father: kya baat ho gayi???
mother: kambaknt paidahote hi pooch raha tha kitne aadmi they...
Views : 273 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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sharam aani chahiye
jeeto: sharam aani chahiye tumhare banta ki bibi ke saath sambandh hain..
santa: sorry... par tumhe kaise pata chala??
jeeto: kal banta aaya tha usne tumhara underwear pehna hua tha
Views : 235 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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cows dont fly
santa was walking along when he looked upto observe a bird flying overhead... suddenly the bird dropped a load when it directly over him...
the santa says good thing that cows don't fly....
Views : 142 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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hand grenede
what do u do when a sardar throws a hand grenade at u??
pull the pin and throw it back...
what do u do when a sardar throws a pin at u??
run like crazy because he is got a hand grenede in the mouth...
Views : 155 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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santa and banta jungle mein
santa and banta jungle mein saame aaya sher...
banta be sher ki aakhon main mathi phenki aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhasgne ko kahaa..
santa: main kyun bhaagu mathi to tune phenki tha...
Views : 273 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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bewakuf banaya
sardar ko dost ne khane pe bhulaya ghar pe tala laga hua tha aur likha hua tha bewakuf banaya..
sardar ne hoshyari dikhayi niche likh diya hum yahan aye hi nahi tha...
Views : 259 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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satdarji's family
a sardar learning english and introduces his family in the party:
hi.. i'm sardar..
this is my wife sardarni..
he is my kid and she is my kidney...
Views : 131 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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STD I SD LOCAL
santa went to a std.. isd pco and slapped the operator twice...
guess why
because there it was written number dial karne se pehle do lagale...
Views : 120 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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application form for job
santa was filling up an application form for an job..
he promply filled the column s titled name... age... address etc...
then he came to the column salary expected..
he was not sure as to what to be filled there...
after much thought he wrote ... yes...
Views : 135 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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crocodile bootsac
santa proposes to a women ..
she says... yes if u bring me a pair of crocodile boots ..
he gets off the africa and disappears..
finally a search is being made they find him hunting crocodile and watch him killing a huge one...
he walks over the repitle checks its legs and angirily exclaims
71st and again bare feet...
Views : 138 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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brain check up
while having a brain check up..
doctor: i regret to tell u that u have a brain tumour..
santa... yes... jumps a joy..
doctor: did u understand what i just told u??
santa: yes... ofcourse... do u think i'm dumb??
doctor: then why are u so happy???
santa: because that proves that i have a brain...
Views : 137 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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r u a foreigner
after
eturning back from a foreign trip santa asked his wife do i look like a foreigner??
wife... no why???
sardar: in london a lady asked me r u a foreigner...
Views : 327 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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weather forecast
once santa was walking and had a glove on the head and not an other so the man asked him why did he do so...
he replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot..
Views : 133 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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santa during diwali
santa talking during diwali...
santa: jab phatake phut te hai to pahle light dekhai deti hai phir awaz aya kyon??
banta: kyonki hamari aankh aage hai aur kaan piche...
Views : 128 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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bus accident
one day a bus get an accident which were they filled with some sardarjis..
the one of the sardarji starts to cry loudly saying i have lost my hand...
after the accident one of the sardarji say to him why are u crying control urself... don't cry ... see that man has lost his head but he hadn't utter even a single word ... how silent he is...
Views : 143 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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direct to the sun
two sardarji's both student of iit kanpur were talking about the american astronauts....
one said to the other.. what is the big deal about going to the moon... anybody can go to the moon... we are sardars we will go direct to the sun...
but if we get within 13 million miles from the sun... we will melt..
and the first answered... so what... we will go at night...
Views : 133 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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tumhe nahi pata
santa and banta were in conversation on the beach...
santa: praaji isse beach kyo kaheete hai??
banta: tumhe nahi pata..
santa: nahi pata
banta: woh to aasmaan aur zameen ke beach mein hai isliye issai beach kahete hai..
Views : 138 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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santa COMMITing suicide
santa trying to COMMIT suicide on the railway track and he takes along some wine and chicken within..
somebody stops him and asks kya hai... ye sab kyon leke baithe ho??
santa replies... saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun...
Views : 142 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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husband want to know the secret
a man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before...
you'll get ur chance in court said the police officer...
no.. no.. no... said the man.. i want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife... i've been trying for years...
Views : 141 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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signed all the cheques
santa lost his cheque book .... he approached bank manager and informed manager regarding it...
manager: you should have taken care as anyone can sign ur cheque book on ur behalf and empty ur deposits..
santa: how can others sign?? i am not a fool... i have an already signed all the cheques...
Views : 129 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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sardar had twins
sardar had twins he named them tin and martin...
again had twins and he named them peter and repeater...
again twins he named them max and climax...
again the same... disgusted sardar named them tired and retired....
Views : 148 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Dec 2015
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lose weight
the doctor told a dumb blonde that if she ran 8km a day for 300 days she would lost 34 kgs...
at the end of 300 days the blonde called the doctor to report she had lost the weight but she had a problem..
what's the problem?? asked the doctor..
i'm 2400 km from house...
Views : 119 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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chuha marne kidawa
ek samay do bahut milne wale dost ranta thay... lekin ek dinak dost ka maut ho gaya aur police investigate karne ke liye aaya aur uske dost ko sawal pooche laga..
police: tumhara dost kaise mara??
sardar: pata nahi sahab woh bola mere pet mein chuhe kud rahe hai toh maine usko chuha marne ki dawa khila di...
Views : 320 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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sorry for that
ek angrez ek gawn mein ja raha tha ke raaste mein achanak ek aurat se takra gaya..
aur usne aurat se mafi magne ki soch karti..
angrez: sorry for that...
aurat: sola ek toh takrata hai aur upar se bolta hai saree phar de..
Views : 278 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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fun in hospital
peter called his doctor's office for an appointment..
i'm sorry said the receptionist... we cant fit u in for at least 2 weeks ...
peter said but i could be dead by then..
receptionist replied... no problem.. if ur wife lets us know we will cancel the appointment...
Views : 126 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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beautiful red underwear
teacher to pappu: write ur best friend's name in english..
pappu wrote: beautiful red underwear..
teacher: what??
pappu: his name is sundhar lal chaadha..
Views : 435 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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ritu bomb hai
ek baar ek terrorist ne ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya..
log chillaye: ritu bomb hai... ritu bomb hai...
ritu sambhal kar boli: dhatt teri ki woh toh mein jawani mein thi.. ab nahi rahi...
Views : 362 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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telephone directory
santa
eturns book to library bangs it on table and says what a shit??
santa: i read the whole book for many character no story at all??
librarian: so u are the who took the telephone directory...
Views : 120 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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girlfriend hogi teri
santa apni sister ke saath bikepe ja raha tha..
boy: oh paaji girlfriend ke saath kana ja rahe ho..
santa: oye... girlfriend hogi teri meri to sister hai...
Views : 329 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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yar meri biwi panise bohat darti hai
santa: yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai..
banta: acha wo kaise??
santa: yar kai mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub me bhi security guard ke saath bethi thi...
Views : 273 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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my dog
teacher: pappu ur composition of my dog is exactly the same as ur brother's... did u copy this??
pappu: no teacher.. it is the same dog... we both wrote on...
Views : 333 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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shadi nahi kar sakta
boyfriend to girlfriend: darling main tumse shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana karrane hai...
girlfriend: tumhare ghar mein kaun kaun hai??
boyfriend: ek biwi aur 3 bache
Views : 357 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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sardar's order
sardar at bar in new york...
man on his right says jhonny walker single..
man on his left says peter scotch single
santa says: santa singh married...
Views : 120 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
what are u searching for
one man was searching for something in his safe for hours...
wife: what are u searching for??
husband: i give up.. i was searching for our marriage papers..
wife: but why??
husband: i was searching for the expiry dates...
Views : 208 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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learning tense
once the teacher was teaching tenses..
pappu: miss... what will be the present tense of samsung?
teacher: i don't know
pappu: that's very simple.. if samsung is past than samsing will be the present...
Views : 269 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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bahana nahi chahiye
santa: mere podho ko pani de ramu
ramu: sir barish gir nahi hai..
santa: bahana nahi chahiae chata leka ja..
Views : 331 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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water everywhere
irritated tenant to the land lord.. look the rain its simply pouring through the roof of my bedroom..
landlord replies... just as our contract says running water in every room..
Views : 170 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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how i spell it
teacher: pappu how do u spell crocodile??
pappu: krokodail
teacher: no that's wrong..
pappu: maybe that's wrong but you asked me how i spell it..
Views : 302 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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a sardar went to toilet ten times
a sardarji went to toilet ten times within half an hour..
somebody asked sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya??
satdar: hai to sahi par khul nahin rahi...
Views : 342 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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2 sardar jees going fishing
there were 2 sardar jees going for fishing.. one of the sardar jee notices a boy drowning... he looks up to the sky and says hey raba please protect the small boy...
the other sardar jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy..
when the sardar jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him..
the sardar jee asks nervously...oh jee hoya??
the man who was the producer replies tu meri shooting kurab further..
Views : 247 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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politicians brain
a man walks into a scientist's lab looking to buy a new brain.. he asks the scientist how much the brain cost..
the scientist says.. well first we have a normal human being it costs 1000 dollars... next we have a scientists brain it costs 5000 dollars.. and then we come to a politician's brain it cost 10000 dollars..
how come the politicians brain costs so much?? asks the men..
the scientist replies.. because its never been used...
Views : 180 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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black baby
ek gora aadmi jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha..
tabi woh apni patni ke pass jata hai aur poocha hai.. yaar main bhi for tha tum bhi gora thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya..
aur phir uski biwi ne jawab diya.. darling main bhi hot tum bhi hot sayad bachcha jai gaya hoga..
Views : 325 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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keyboard alphabets
sardar joined new job.. first day he worked till late evening on the computer..
boss was happy and asked why you did till evening??
sardar: keyboard alphabets were not in order.. so i made it alright ..
Views : 140 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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inside or outside
mr inside lives with mrs outside..
inside went outside leaving outside inside..
outside standing inside called inside to come outside...
but inside staying outside called outside to come outside..
so outside came inside and inside went outside...
oh no... where is ur mind now??
inside or outside??
Views : 148 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
wife vs husband
a couple drove down a country road for several miles not saying a word with each other.. an earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position...
as they passed a barnyard of mules.. goats and pigs... the husband asked sarcastically relatives of urs??
yep.. the wife replied in laws...
Views : 268 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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bitten by wampire
patient: doctor.. i think that i have bitten by a vampire..
doctor: drink this glass of water.
patient: will it make me better?
doctor: no but i will be able to see if ur neck leaks...
Views : 171 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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who is superman
jenny: robin do u know who is a superman?
robin: yes.. i know..
jenny: who?
robin: the one who wears his red underwear over his pants..
Views : 150 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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blonde one liners
why does a blonde keep empty bear bottles in her fridge?
there are for who those who don't drink...
how do u keep the blonde busy?
you give her a bottle of shampoo that says: lather.. rinse... and repeat..
how did u confuse a blonde?
you don't they are born the way..
how did the blonde lip toe past the medicine cabinet?
so they couldn't wake up the sleeping pills
Views : 150 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
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railway accident
once a young man was asked in a interview: did u ever meet any railway accident??
the man replied: yes.. once the train was going through a long tunnel i have kissed the father instead of his daughter...
Views : 140 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
my wife dont like it
a policed asked to a thief why u went to stole same rack 3 times in a store??
the thief replied i stole one dress for my wife and i came to change i twice...
Views : 218 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
More Pappu Joke
deadbody cycling
during an english lesson the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him..
teacher: pappu join these two sentences together.. i was cycling to a school.. i saw a dead body..
pappu: thinking for a while i saw a dead body cycling to a school...
Views : 280 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
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bada kab ho jaunga
beta papa se: papa mein itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochery ghar se bahar ja sakoo...
papa thandi saans late hue: beta itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon...
Views : 336 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
daily newspaper
a wife says to her husband one weekend morning we've got such a clever dog he brings in the daily newspaper every morning....
her husband replies well lots of dogs can do this...
his wife responded but we've never subscribed to any...
Views : 195 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
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graying hair
customer asked to the shop keeper what do u have for graying hair???
the shop keeper replied nothing but the highest respect sir..
Views : 156 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
misleading notices
banta singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area...
the judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence...
they should not put up such misleading notices said banta singh..
it said fine for parking here...
Views : 160 |
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Joke Posted on : 2 Dec 2015
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archeologist husband is best
two girls talking about their future husband ... one is telling that she will marry an archeologist... second girl asked why??
she told... archeologist is the best husband any women can have.. the older she gets the more interested he is in her...
Views : 200 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Nov 2015
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at hospital
at the hospital looking through the window at the newly arrived babies..
father says.... kitche kitche koo...
look she smiled... isn't she adorable ???
his friend says.. but ur kid didn't smile..
the father replies... i was talking about nurse..
Views : 223 |
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Joke Posted on : 20 Nov 2015
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ching chou mou cho
a chinese was in hospital..
an indian went to meet him... chinese said... ching chou mou cho & died..
indian went to china to know the meaning.. it was.. kutte oxygen ke pipe se per utha..
Views : 220 |
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Joke Posted on : 20 Nov 2015
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saas ki pitai
naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ke teen auraten ap ke saas ko peet rahi hai...
malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
naukrani ne poocha aap madad karne nahi jayengi??
malkin: nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai..
Views : 360 |
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Joke Posted on : 20 Nov 2015
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this is not fair
teacher asked to a student... rony if 2&2 makes four how is 4&4??
student replied.. this is not fair teacher.. you always do easy ones and leave the hard ones for me..
Views : 99 |
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Joke Posted on : 16 Nov 2015
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baal nahi hai
3 auratein party mein jane ke liye sareeyan select karti hai
pehli aurat: .mere pati ke kale baal hai isliye mein toh kali saree pahan kar jaungi...
dusri aurat: mere pati ke safeid baalhai to mein white saree pahan kar jaungi..
tisri aurat boli: mere pati ke baal hi nahi hai toh kya mein aisa hi jaungi..
Views : 273 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Nov 2015
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begum wife
two married friends rahul and rohan talking on the topic of the married women...
rahul: wife ko begum kyun kehte hai???
rohan: kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai...
Views : 235 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
girlfriend hogi teri
santa apni sister ke saath bike pe ja raha tha...
boy: oh.. paaji girlfriend k saath kaha ja rahe ho..
santa: oye... girlfriend hogi teri meri to sister hai...
Views : 285 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Nov 2015
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tricky conversation
young son: is it true dad.. i heard that in some parts of africa a man doesn't know his wife untill he marries her??
dad: that happens in most countries son..
Views : 229 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
please excuse me
one fine day.... a girl proposed to a boy for marriage and the boy denied simply saying that.. in our family we marry only our relatives...
my mom married my dad .. my brother married my bhabhi... my uncle married my aunt and so on..
so please excuse me..
Views : 415 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Nov 2015
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paying the fine money
a pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes..
the judge said..mr.banks you are hereby fined rs.2500
the lawyer stood up and said.. thanks my lord.. however my client only has 1500rs on him at this time.. but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd he will gather all the required fine..
Views : 130 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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under18 not allowed
a number twelve walks into a bar and asks a barman for a pint of beer..
sorry i cant serve u... states the barman..
why not?? asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice..
you ate under 18... replies the barman..
Views : 135 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
romantic comment
wife standing in front if a mirror and telling to her husband.. i am fat.. old.. wrinkled and no longer pretty.. will u still give me a romantic compliment??
husband replied.. your eyesight is still excellent..
Views : 376 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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no more pills
a patient asked to the doctor: if i take these little green pills exactly as u suggested will i get better??
doctor replied.. certainly i put it this way no one has ever come back for more of these pills again..
Views : 245 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
i am a proud man
santa: i am a proud man. my son i in medical college..
banta: really. wat is he studying??
santa: no.. he is not studying.. they are studying him..
Views : 310 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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kya du
sardar: yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai.. kya du??
2nd: gold ring de de..
1st: koi badi cheez bata..
2nd: m.r.f ka tyre de de..
Views : 290 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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mayavati came to lalu's house
mayavati came to lalu's house with a goat..
lalu: bhaiswa ko kyun lahi ho??
maya: dikhta nahi.. goatwa hai..
lalu: hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu..
Views : 249 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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sardar being disturbed
sardar to his friends: for the past one week a girl is disturbing me.
i don't know how she got my number.. she interrupts when i call some one and says..
please recharge ur balance soon...
Views : 97 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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football show
laloo to his p.a: itne killadi kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai??
p.a: goal kar ne keliye..
laloo: susra.. ball toh pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge..
Views : 252 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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banana peel
customer: how much is that banana??
salesperson: 60rs
customer: can u sell it to me for 25rs??
salesperson: at that rate u will only get the banana peel..
customer: ok.. i will buy the banana for 35rs.. but u can keep the peel..
Views : 121 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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father's business
teacher asked to the student: what is ur father doing??
student replied: furniture sale business..
the teacher asked again: how is ur father business going on??
student answered: very well.. we have now only our bed at home..
Views : 104 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
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do girls make loud signal??
guide: i welcome you all to the niagara falls. these are the world's largest falls.. and the sound intensity of the waterfalls is so high sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cannot be heard.. now may i request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the niagara falls..
Views : 126 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
ideal match
santa: why didn't u marry??
banta: i was searching for an ideal match..
santa: so.. u didn't find an ideal girl??
banta: i found one..
santa: then??
banta: she was also searching for an ideal match.
Views : 242 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
dance party
boy to girl at a dance party: kya tum mere sath dance karogi??
girl reply: mein bacche ke saath dance nahi karti..
boy: sorry.. mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnant ho..
Views : 322 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
love never dies
2 lovers plan to sucide...
boy jumped first.. girl closed her eyes and
eturn back saying.. love is blind..
boy in air opened his parachute saying.. love never dies..
Views : 318 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
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bhakt ka quzaris
bhakt: meri shaadi aishwarya se kara do..
bhagwan: uski ek saree one lakh ki hai.. tu kharcha kar payega..
bhakt: koi upay bhagwan..
bhagwan: mallika sherawt..
Views : 357 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
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bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai??
jab koi ladki shaadi se pehla pregnant hoti hai, aur uski maa bole: hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya??
Views : 295 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
consider as a god
santa: people consider me as a god..
banta: how do u know??
santa: when i went to the park today, everybody said.. oh god.. u have came again..
Views : 232 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
Santa complaining
santa complained to his friend about his wife..
my wife never agrees with anything i say... and we have been married for 6 years..
said santa..
his wife intervened and says.. not six years we have been married for seven years...
Views : 245 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
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Tarzan's wear...
what did tarzan think when he saw a dead cheetah?
wow...
new underwear....
Views : 248 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
sharam aani chahiye
jeeto: sharam aani chahiye.. tumhare banta ki bibo ke saath sambandh hain....
santa: sorry..par tumhe kaise pata chala?
jeeto: kal banta aaye tha, usme tumhara underwear pehra hua tha..
Views : 257 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
I'll have a scotch and soda..
santa singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving..
just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery...
the judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted
order... order...
santa responded immediately.. thank u your honour.. i'll have a scotch and soda...
Views : 238 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
sher..
santa: tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya jata hai??
banta: hota toh sher hi hoon par durga sawar ho jaati hai...
Views : 287 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
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timing is everything
a guy shows up late for work, the box yells you should have been here at 8.30.
the guy replies, why? what happened at 8.30??
Views : 100 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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how i learned English
once a peon of an office trying to speak in english to a guest. then the guest appreciate him and told, from where u have learned to talk english?
the peon replied, i have learned u understand? from our md.. i love u from the tv and good morning from our receptionist madam..
Views : 96 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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long back
long back..
a person who sacrificed his sleep,
forget his family,
forget his food,
forget laughter were called saints
it professionals and logistic professionals..
Views : 92 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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bahar wali ghatna
employee: sir app meri salary bada dijiye. meri shadi ki gayi hai..
boss: factory ke bahar hone wale durghatna ke liye factory jimmedar nahi hoti..
Views : 219 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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difference
a man went to face an interviewer.. board of directors asked him, tell the difference between complete and finish...
the man replied, i am clarifying with the example when u marry a right person you are complete and when u marry the wrong person u are finish...
Views : 96 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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pay your tax
income tax officer gave tips to a young lady , you should pay ur income tax with smile..
the lady replied, i have tried it thrice, but every time they insist on cash or cheque..
Views : 92 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
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heavy letter
post master in a post office told to a women, you have to put another stamp on this letter as it is too heavy...
the women replied, how would an extra stamp make it lighter?
Views : 74 |
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Joke Posted on : 1 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
confession
dying husband to wife: i have something to tell u dear...
wife: don't speak just have some rest...
husband: no i must confess.. i had relationship with ur sister and ur best friend..
wife: shh.. i know i know.. that's why i poisoned u
Views : 178 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
why cant u be lik that?
pinku tells her husband, pappu , that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. every morning when he leaves the house he kisses her goodbye and every evening he comes home he brings her a dozen roses..
now, why can't you do that?
gosh.. pappu says why i hardly know the girl?
Views : 185 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
aayenge akhbaar mein
once a husband and wife were preparing to go office and the wife thought she would drive today for the office..
wife: chalo na car mein kahin ghumne challe hai, aur car me drive karengi
husband: agar tum car drive karogi to jayenge car mein aayenge akhbaar mein..
Views : 318 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Oct 2015
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kab tak khaoge..
shaadi mein ek pathan bahut der tak khana kha raha tha..
kisi ne poocha kab tak khaoge?
pathan: mein toh khud kha kha ke dukhi hoon, per kya karon card mein likha tha dinner 7pm to 10pm..
Views : 248 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
the meaning of dreams
a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. after she woke up, she told her husband, i just dreamed that u gave me a pearl necklace for valentines day what u think it means??
you will know tonight, he said
that evening, the man came home with a small package and give it to his wife. delighted, she opened it only to find a book entitled... the meaning of dream..
Views : 181 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
pretty ugly
marie: john says, i'm pretty and andy says i'm ugly.. what do u think peter?
peter: i think u r pretty ugly..
Views : 278 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Oct 2015
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nothing sir..
head master: i've had complaints about u.. from all the teachers.. wat have u been doing??
student: nothing sir
head master: exactly..
Views : 131 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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first day
mother: did u enjoy ur first day at school??
girl: first day?? do u mean i have to go back tomorrow??
Views : 99 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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next please..
patient: doctor!! u have to help me!! nobody ever listens to me.. no one ever pays any attention to wat i hav to say..
doctor: next please
Views : 84 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
ramu gardaner
a girl dialled her own number from her boyfriend's cell too see her name saved in list like doll or sweetie..
she was shocked to see
ramu gardaner
Views : 178 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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School kyun aatey ho??
teacher: tum school kyun aatey ho??
student: vidya ke liye sir!!
teacher: phir tum class mein soo kyu rahe ho??
student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai isliye sir!!
Views : 342 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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Do aankhe battis daante...
saas: khuda be tumhe do aankhle di hai, chawal se pathar nahi nikal sakti kya?
bahu: khuda me tumhe battis daante diye hai do char 2-4 patthar nahi chabba sakti kya!!
Views : 266 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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where u get this mummy??
son: daddy, have u ever been to egypt??
daddy: no,why do u ask that?
son: well, where did u get this mummy then???
Views : 88 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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bivi aur gadi mey kya faraq hey?
ek aadmi doosrey aadmi sey bola: bivi aur gadi mey kya faraq hey?
doosra aadmi bola: ek bigarti hai to band ho jati hai...
doosari bigarti hai to shuroo ho jati hai..
Views : 239 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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ek bahut bhadra rahasya
tawa pe pada popcorn uchalta kyo hai??
socho!!
nahi soch paye ? thik hai jawaf chaha hoto...
khud baith ke dekh lo tawae par,
pata jal jayega...
Views : 275 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Oct 2015
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Ad for a good cook
hotel management gave advertisement for a good cook to recruit.. one cook has sent one application as follows:
dear sir, iam a good cooker. if u appoint me, i am sure i will be able to cook you. when i was working earlier in a hotel i cooked them all....
Views : 85 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
Do u love me?
girl: suno, are u sure u love me and no one else?
boy: dead sure!! i checked the whole list again yesterday!!
girl: kya???:to mere saare love letters wapas kardo...
boy: is me se jo jo tum haray hain nikal lo!!!
Views : 280 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
Santa goes TV shopping
santa singh goes to a tv shop and asks ,
aap ke pass colorbtv hai kya??
haan replied the shop owner
santa says, ek hara vala dena
Views : 263 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
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techer + students
teacher: students, what does the chicken give you??
students: meat
teacher: very good.. now what does the pig give you???
students: bacon
teacher: great... and what does the fat cow give u??
students: home work
Views : 135 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
how should u describe me????
wife: how should you described me?
husband: abcdefghijk
wife: what does that mean?
husband: adorable.. beautiful... cute.... delightful... elegant.. fashionable.. gorgeous... hot
wife: aww... thank you... wat about ijk?
husband: i'm just kidding..
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
wife rights
wife: i look fat can you give me a compliment?
husband: you have a perfect eye sight....
Views : 193 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
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DON'T WORRY
berlusconi 71 years old has a
girlfriend 18 years old...
bill gates 57 years old has a
girlfriend 24 years old....
mara dona 52 years old has a
girlfriend 21 years old..
moral:
don't worry that you don't have a girlfriend ,
urs probably is not born yet....
Views : 150 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
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my campus selection
a b tech student took his girlfriend to his home after completing his b tech
father asked who is she.....
son replied
my campus selection
Views : 202 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
application form for girls
urgent girlfriend needed......
qualification- must be the only daughter of a petrol pump owner......
Views : 198 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Oct 2015
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height of surprise
a boy after spending great time with gf
saw a guys photo in her bag...
asked if he is ur x-bf??
gf kissed him and said that's me before surgery...
Views : 81 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
zip zop santa
santa: tumhare biwi ka kya naam hei?
banta: google kaur..
santa: yei kaisa naam hai?
banta: yaar main jaha bhi hota hoon, wo muhje dhoonth hi leti hei!;!!!
Views : 220 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
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mmeemooory carddd
santa: muhje mobile me mp3 songs dalwane hei
moblie shop wala: memory card hei kya??
santa: nahi memory card nahi hei, raashon card chalega?
Views : 250 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
egooo
boy: tune dekha us ladki mein itna attitude hai
girl: attitude ke spelling bata
boy: nahi attitude nahi,,, ego bahut haii...
Views : 202 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
zoooper hero
boy: i wanna be a super hero guess my name....
girl: superman... ironman
boy: no.. its yourman.....
Views : 183 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
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doggy cat....
i dressed my dog up as a cat for halloween. now he can't come when i call him....
Views : 144 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
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todays fact
somebody asked a college student...
u r good looking and handsome the why u don't have girlfriend??
i don't need a girlfriend
my studies irritates me every day
that's enough......
Views : 248 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
eeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
he: *typing*......
she: relply..... i already have a boyfriend.... don't type....
Views : 204 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
kind hearted boys
no girl can reject this....
boys are more kind than girls...
do u know y???
because girls never help unknown boys...
but boys always help unknown girls....
Views : 204 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
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upvass new style
upvas in new style...
living one day without
mobile
facebook
electricity
internet
whatsapp
tv.......
ye upvas kar ke dekho
bhagwan dharti par ake kahenge
bas kar pagle ab rulayega kya......
Views : 250 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
heeee
why do girls look beautiful?
is it real or due to make up?
all false.....................
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girls look beautiful because of
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.
.
.
boys have good imagination
Views : 190 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
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engineering jokes
1 hour on the pc seems like 1 min...................................
1 min while doing studies seems like 1 hour........
.
Views : 149 |
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Joke Posted on : 26 Oct 2015
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cat vs elephant
cat : how old are u?
elephant : 5 yrs
cat: u look big
elephant: i am a complain boy
cat: i am 20 years old
elephant: but u look small
cat: ponds miracle
Views : 298 |
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Joke Posted on : 26 Oct 2015
Updated on Thursday, October 29, 2015 | 1:53:16 PM
Updated on Monday, September 5, 2016 | 5:38:11 AM
