More Intellectual Joke
PRISCRIPTION
calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “i would like to buy some cyanide.”
the pharmacist asked, “why in the world do you need cyanide?”
the lady replied, “i need it to poison my husband.”
the pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “lord have mercy! i can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! that’s against the law! i’ll lose my license! they’ll throw both of us in jail! all kinds of bad things will happen. absolutely not! you cannot have any cyanide!”
the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
the pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “well now, that’s different. you didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Intellectual Joke
CHEMICAL FORMULA OF WATER
teacher : donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
donald : h i j k l m n o!!
teacher : what are you talking about?
donald : yesterday you said it’s h to o!
Views : 401 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Intellectual Joke
WHY R U LATE?
teacher : why are you late, frank?
frank : because of the sign.
teacher : what sign?
frank : the one that says, “school ahead, go slow.”hh
Views : 387 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Pappu Joke
WHO DISCOVER NORTH AMERICA
teacher : maria, go to the map and find north america.
pappu : here it is!
teacher : correct. now class, who discovered america?
class : pappu
Views : 439 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Intellectual Joke
THIS IS THE RIGTH TIME
mother to her teenage daughter: i think this is the right time we
should talk about sex.
daughter (excitingly) : sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
mother faints…
Views : 418 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
difference between confidence and confidential
sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
dad says, you are my son, i’m confident. your friend is also my son,
that’s confidential!
Views : 364 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Pappu Joke
IMPORTANCE OF PERIOD
teacher: u know the importance of period?
kid: ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack & our driver ran away.
Views : 396 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Intellectual Joke
THREE FEELINGS
three feelings:
what’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
panic is when both are pregnant.
Views : 375 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
MEANING OF WIFE
husband asks , “do u know the meaning of wife??
“without information fighting everytime”
wife replies,” no, it means ,
“with idiot for ever !!!”
Views : 379 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Cricket Joke
Man comes home
man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
he shoots his friend to death.
wife says, “if you behave like this, you will lose all your friends”11
Views : 402 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
MISSING WIFE
two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: how yours look like?
2nd: she is 5″7, 36-24-36, fair, black eyes. what about yours?
1st: forget mine. lets find yours!!
Views : 364 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Dec 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
KISS OF LOVE
kiss is the key of love,
love is the lock of marriage,
marriage is the box of children,
and too many children means more problem for the world
so please stop kissing & save the world for a while...
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
More Latest Joke
DON'T GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING.
one day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.
there was not enough sunlight to get into the sea.
he saw a pack of stones...
to pass time he started throwing the stone into the sea.
while having the last stone in the hand,
the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond.
he felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea.
.
moral of the story:
don't get up early in the morning....
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
I AM NOT PERFECT.
girl before finding her love:
he should love me more & more everyday
he should never let me sad
he should always understand me
he should be perfect !!
.
after finding her boyfriend:
so what if he is not loving me unconditional, i understand & love him anyway
so what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
so what if he is not fully understanding me, i will understand him
so what if he is not perfect, i am not perfect too!
Views : 301 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Dec 2015
More Latest Joke
24-HOUR GROCERY
“i went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. so i ordered french toast during the renaissance.”
“i went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. when i got there, the guy was locking the front door. i said, ‘hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ he said, ‘yes, but not in a row.’”
“if toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?”
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Joke Posted on : 8 Dec 2015
More Pappu Joke
DO YOU WORK OUT
little johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:
tester: if i give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
little johnny : seven!
tester : no, listen carefully again. if i give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
little johnny : seven!
tester : let's try this another way. if igive you two bottles of beer, and twobottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?
little johnny : six.
tester : good! now, if i give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
little johnny : seven!
tester : how on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
little johnny: i've already got one rabbit at home!
Views : 324 |
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Joke Posted on : 8 Dec 2015
More Intellectual Joke
WHO IS BIGGEST
ek sharabi, poora tunn ho kar ghar jaa raha tha,
raste mein mandir ke bahar pujari dikha!
sharabi ne pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?
pujari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha ‘yeh mandir bada’
sharabi bola: mandir bada to dharti pe kaise khada?
pujari: chalo bhai dharti badi
sharabi: dharti badi to sheshnaag par kyun khadi?
pujari: sheshnaag bada
sharabi: sheshnaag bada to shiv ke gale main kyon pada
pujari : shiv bada
sharabi: shiv bada to parvat par kyon khada
pujari: parvat bada
sharabi: parbat bada to hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada
pujari: hanuman bada
sharabi: hanuman bada to ram ke charno mein kyon pada
pujari: ram bada
sharabi: ram bada to ravan ke piche kyun pada
pujari: arey mere baap tu bata kaun bada
sharabi:
iss duniya mein wo bada
jo puri bottle peekar bhi seedha khada!!
Views : 386 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
EMOTIONAL
हमें मालूम था अंजाम-ए-इश्क का लेकिन,
जवानी जोश पर थी ज़िंदगी बर्बाद कर बैठे.
ऐ बादल, मेरी आँखें तू रख ले..
…..कम्बखत…
बड़ी माहिर है बरसने में “..!
Views : 356 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
SARDAR and HIS WIFE
iwi:
jo aadmi roj sharab peekar aaye uske liye mere mann mein koi hamdardi nahi hai..!
pati :
jisko roj sharab mil jaye, use tumhari hamdardi ki jarurat bhi nahi hai
Views : 332 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
CALLER TUNE
एक लड़के को रात मे बारह बजेएक लड़की का
फोन आता हैँ !!.
.
.
.
लड़का :- hello, कड़न ?.
.
लड़की :- हम तेरे बिन अब रह नही सकते,तेरे
बिना क्या वजूद मेरा….
.
.
.
लड़का :- (excited होकर ) : कड़न हो आप ?..
.
.
लड़की :- तुझसे जुदा गर हो जायेंगे तो खुद सेही
हो जायेंगे जुदा…!.
.
.
.
लडका :- (खुशी के मारे आँखों से पानी लाते
हुए) :-तुम सचमुच मुझसे शादी करोगी….????..
…………..
.
.
.
.
.
लड़की :- इस गाने को अपनी कॉलर tuneबनाने
के लिए 8 दबाएं।
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Joke Posted on : 30 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
IN THE CONFERENCE
q: why are identical twins like a broken alarm clock?
a: because they are dead ringers!
q: what is a well-dressed lion called?
a: a dandy-lion [dandelion]
q: which animals are found on legal documents?
a: seals.
q: which fish swims only at night?
a: the starfish. -
Views : 318 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
MY HUSBAND IS BALD
four women living in the neighborhood were invited to a party. they were discussing about the dress they would wear for the party. they finally decided to choose the color that matches with the hair color of their husband.
the first woman told, ‘i will go with red as my husband colored his hair red’
the second woman said, ‘i always prefer black as my husband’s hair color is naturally black!’
the third woman told, ‘yeah, then i do prefer to go with yellow dress as he has blonde hair!’ (yellow)
the fourth woman was quiet. all the other insisted her about her preferred color.
she said, ‘i was thinking a lot but can’t choose any color, i can’t wear any dress because my husband is bald!’ -
Views : 371 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Nov 2015
More Latest Joke
THIS IS MY COMPUTER
customer called to tech support: “my computer is not connecting to internet”
tech support: “ok, which operating system are you using?”
customer: “internet explorer”!
tech support: “no, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu”
customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”! -
Views : 277 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
FROZEN WINDOWS
during a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the windows frozen”.
husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
after a while husband received a message again “no way, the computer is completely spoilt now”! -
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Joke Posted on : 18 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
THE STATION MASTER
a lady was running to catch a train to bangalore. she reached the station and was searching for the train.
passenger: (asked to the station master) sir, is this my train?
station master: no madam, this is not your train, it’s railways department’s train.
passenger: (annoyed) that’s a good joke. don’t act too smart. what i meant was, can i take this train to bangalore?
station master: no ma’am, you cannot! this train is so big and you can’t take it.
passenger: its really funny! now say me, will this train take me to bangalore?
station master: no ma’am. the train can’t take you. the train driver will drive it to bangalore!
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Joke Posted on : 18 Nov 2015
More Intellectual Joke
COFFEE and A FLY
a customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! the waiter served the coffee. the customer found a fly in the coffee. he called the waiter.
customer: how do i drink this coffee!
waiter: don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
customer: waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
waiter: oh yes sir, you are right! there is a fly in your coffee.
customer: waiter, i said, there is a fly in mmy coffee (he stressed the word my)
waiter: oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
customer: waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
waiter: sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
(annoyed) customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!
waiter: i guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
customer: how do i drink this coffee?
waiter: don’t you know how to drink? i will teach you!
he drank the coffee! and said, this is how you should drink a coffee. -
Views : 442 |
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Joke Posted on : 18 Nov 2015
More Latest Joke
HYDERABADI JOKES
hyderabadi msg mom: kaiku rora re? son: teacher maari merku mom: kaiku maari chudel ne son:mai usku murgi bola mon: kaiku son: kaiku boleto, har exam mein anda deri merku.
Views : 454 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
WHY U CAME LATE?
techr: tum late kyo aaye ho? santa: mumy papa lad rahe the. techr: wo lad rahe the to tum kyo late aaye? santa:mera 1 juta maumy k pass or dusra papa k paas tha!
Views : 279 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
DON'T TELL A LIE
1 aadmi apne bete k liye 1 robot laya jo jooth bolne par thappad marta tha. beta :- papa aaj me school nahi jaunga mere pet me dard hai (bete ko padi sattaak?) papa :- dekha tune jooth bola isliye tuje saza mili, me jab tere jitna tha to kabhi jooth nahi bolta tha. papa ko bhi padi sattaak wife :(haste huye boli) aap hi ka beta hai. mummy ko bhi sattaak.
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
MY NAME IS
telgu ladka james bond se naam pucha. james bond bola: bond! james bond! james bond 007! phir james bond ne telugu ladke se naam pucha. telgu ladka bola: prasad! venkat prasad! veera venkat prasad! sai veera venkat prasad! srilakshmi sai veera venkat prasad! venkateshwara srilakshmi sai veera venkat prasad! srinivasukala venkateshwara srilakshmi sai veera venkat prasad! sita ramanjaneyula srinivasula venkateshwara srilakshmi sai veera venkat prasad!
Views : 456 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
WILL U MARRY ME?
ek bhikari ladki se bola kya aap mujse shadi karogi. ladki boli tujse shadi karne se achcha hai main gade mein kud ke marjaon. bhikari bola “kamini marjaigi laikin gareeb kaam nahi aayege”.
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Latest Joke
SMART THEIF
ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. tijori pe likha tha “tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao,tijori khul jayegi. jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.” jate jate chor seth se bola: aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!
Views : 295 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Latest Joke
GANGSTER
q: what did the gangster’s son tell his dad
when he failed his examination?
a: dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but i never told them anything.
Views : 321 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
I love you too
molu ne ek ladki ko propose kiya aur bola i love you. lakin ladki boli main kisi aur se pyar karti hoon. molu achanak bhagne laga. aur bhagte bhagte bola “thair teri amma ku boltaon” ladki chillake bolne lagi rukre potte i love you too.
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Pappu Joke
Reply of principal
teacher : beta, tumhare sare answers galat hain… student : kamal karte ho sir ji, marks hi toh mang rhe, pyar se mang rahe de do warna do thapad marke bhi le sakte.. teacher : bathmez kahin ke !!! student : sir, batmezi se yaad aya apke pitaji kaise hain?? teacher : nikal ja class se.. student : sir, chupchap marks de do warna answer sheet me itne cheed kar denge ki confusion ho jaoge ki fail kahan likhe aur zero kahan!!!
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Pappu Joke
letter to principal by student
letter to principal salam saale! yeh bata kaun haramkhor paper set karta hai? kamino , students ki jaan nikal jati hai. upar se paper checking to aise hoti h jaise apni maa k maut ka badla le rahe ho. aisa sylbus banaya jaise tumhare yahan toh saale sab topper hi janme hai. tera baap bhi is paper me pas nai hoga! tu khud is paper me 10 bar fail hoga.tu kabhi bahar mil saale bataunga tujhe. urs faithfully, (pagal hu jo apna naam likhunga)
Views : 360 |
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Joke Posted on : 17 Nov 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
STOLEN HEART
which song tarzan like to sing on the christmas day?
jungle bells jungle bells!
turkey is not feeling hungry on the thanksgiving day, why?
because it is already stuffed!
why did the christmas tree go to the barbershop before the christmas eve?
because it want to get trimmed before the eve!
why did joy put her girlfriend in jail on valentine’s day?
because she had stolen his heart! -
Views : 293 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Pappu Joke
I HAVEN'T DONE THE HOMEWORK
sam: dear sir, i want to ask you something.
teacher: yes sam, ask me, what do you want?
sam: sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?
teacher: no sam. why should i?
sam: thank you sir. that’s a relief. i haven’t done the homework.
Views : 484 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Pappu Joke
SCHOOL AHEAD, GO SLOW
teacher: why are you late?
student: because of the sign on the road.
teacher: what type of sign?
student: the sign that says, “school ahead, go slow.”!
Views : 414 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Intellectual Joke
SCHOOL IN THE MORNING
teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
all the students said “yeahh”
then the teacher said “we will have the other half this afternoon”!
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Latest Joke
MY FATHER IS SPEAKING
ittle sam (on phone): my son is having high fever and he won’t be able to come to school today.
teacher: who is this?
little sam: this is my father speaking!
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Pappu Joke
GO FOR A MOVIE
ohnny asked to sam what they will do that night.
sam said “we will flip a coin”
then johnny said “if it comes head, we will go for movies. if tails, we will play cards, if it stands on edge, we will study”!
Views : 412 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Pappu Joke
MOTHER ELEPHANTS
classroom jokes
it was oral examination in the standard two. the class teacher asked various questions to the students. she asked tom, ‘can you tell me a name of an animal that starts with alphabet ‘e’?
tom replied ‘elephant’
teacher asked him again to name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘t’.
tom replied ‘two elephants’
teacher asked him the same question.
tom replied ‘ten elephants’
annoyed teacher, asked him name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘m’
tom replied ‘mother elephant’
the angry teacher repeated the same question.
cool tom replied ‘may be an elephant’
Views : 413 |
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Joke Posted on : 3 Nov 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
BREAK FAIL
santa ki biwi : o ji car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
santa : are banoo car ki break fail ho gayi hai, to accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
CIGARATE
santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha
logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?
santa bola : wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
NOT TO EAT OUSSIDES
waiter-apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! aisa kyon?customer-kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao..
Views : 302 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS
dad:result ka kya hua
son: dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
dad:good news bata.
son : mai pass ho gya.
dad : great, aur bad news.
son:good news galat hai.
Views : 292 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
YOU ARE MISSED
raja pervaiz ashraf: yaar mujhey mother's day pe koi message nhi aaya?
secretary: sir, pakistan me jub light jati hai,
log aap ki maa ko hi yaad kertey hain!!!
Views : 282 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
MONKEY and TREE
bhongasing ek ped per chadh gaye.
upar baithey monkey ne poocha: upar kyon aaye?
bhongasing: apple khane.
monkey: yeh to aam ka ped hai.
bhongasing: pata hai, apple saath laya hun.
Views : 250 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
MOBILE VIRUS
is
msg
ko
0pen
na kare
bola tha
fir bhi 0pen kiya
>-**-<
>-**-<
>-**-<
ye mobile ko bigadne wale virus hai
mera kaam ho gaya
ab ap jano
Views : 308 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
RAIN FALLING
barish hui aur hum bhig gaye,
wah wah
barish hui aur hum bhig gye.
wah wah
age kya hua?
hona kya tha?
dhoop nikli aur hm sukh gye
Views : 275 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
AS U WISH
usne kaha -na ched ladki ko paap hoga
kal tu bhi kisi ladkika baap hoga.
maine kaha bhagwan kre tera kehna sach ho
jo mujhe baap kahe wo tera bacha ho.
Views : 257 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
I AM GOING TO SCHOOL
bacha ghar se maar kha kr,
gusse me school ja raha tha
ek admi ne pucha
beta padhte ho?
bacha: nhi school ki dress pehen k
tere baap k barat mai ja raha hu.
Views : 310 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
SARDAR and BANANA
ek sardar kele ke chilke se fisal kar gir gya
aage phir dusre chilke se gir gya
ab teesre chilke ko dekh kr k bola...??
shit ab phir se girna padega
Views : 312 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
BABA RAMDEV
99 sal ka aadmi
swarg ki raunak aur sundar apsarao ko dekh kar bola-
ye ramdev baba k chakr me na para hota to 30 sal pahle hi chala ata...
Views : 308 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
INTELLIGENT HUMOR
i can only assume two things here (perhaps making an an ass of u and me): the writer is not an “american” and is something of a connoisseur of what he or she calls “intelligent humor.” i am very sympathetic. whether this person has in mind the mordant absurdism of beckett, the trenchant wit of swift or wilde, the surrealistic flights of farce in vonnegut, or the heights of high-toned silliness in monty python, i can’t say. all of these are excellent examples of “intelligent humor.”
Views : 105 |
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Joke Posted on : 19 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
GIVE ME YOUR MOBILE
irl 2 boy:muje apna mobile de do main isko dekh k tumhe yad karungi boy:tum ye soch k muje yad kar lena ki me ne manga tha usne nahe dia.
Views : 399 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
CONFUSION IN EXAM
eacher : beta, tumhare sare answers galat hain… student : kamal karte ho sir ji, marks hi toh mang rhe, pyar se mang rahe de do warna do thapad marke bhi le sakte.. teacher : bathmez kahin ke !!! student : sir, batmezi se yaad aya apke pitaji kaise hain?? teacher : nikal ja class se.. student : sir, chupchap marks de do warna answer sheet me itne cheed kar denge ki confusion ho jaoge ki fail kahan likhe aur zero kahan!!!
Views : 373 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
LETTER TO PRINCIPAL
letter to principal salam saale! yeh bata kaun haramkhor paper set karta hai? kamino , students ki jaan nikal jati hai. upar se paper checking to aise hoti h jaise apni maa k maut ka badla le rahe ho. aisa sylbus banaya jaise tumhare yahan toh saale sab topper hi janme hai. tera baap bhi is paper me pas nai hoga! tu khud is paper me 10 bar fail hoga.tu kabhi bahar mil saale bataunga tujhe. urs faithfully, (pagal hu jo apna naam likhunga)
Views : 356 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
GHOST RIDER
do you know what is girl? g-ghost i-in r-real l-life. so avoid girls & forward their numbers to me. dont worry about my life i am a professional ghost rider.
Views : 193 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
WHAT IS YOUR NAME
traffic police chalaan book nikaal ke bola: naam bol?
ladka: galti ho gaya sir...
police: naam bol.
ladka: sorry sir, is baar jane do... dobara nahi hoga.
police: naam kya hai.
ladka: trikulavattyy thekkeparambli venkateshwara swami.
police (book band karke): theek hai, agli baar gaadi dheere chalana!
Views : 247 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
santa english me fail ho gaya translation ki wajah se...;
1. mein ek aam admi hun...
i am a mango man.
2. mujhe english aati hai.
english comes to me.
3. mera talluq haripur hazara se hai.
i belong to green pur thousanda.
4. sdak par goliya chal rahi hai.
tablets are walking on the road....!
Views : 225 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
YOU CHEATER
girl:- i love u.
boy:- me too.
girl:- how much?
boy:- as much as u do.
girl:- “you cheater!” i thought u really love me.
Views : 245 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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BREAK DANCE
pappu: cycle ke break hath me lekar nach raha tha!! !
max- ye kya kr raha ae pappu?
pappu-oye!
break dance kar rha hoon!
Views : 283 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
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TWO TICKET
pappu :- bhai saheb 2 ticket dena,
conductor:- 2 q ?
pappu :- 1 kho jaye to dusri kaam ayegi,
conductor:- dono kho gayi to ?
pappu :- fir sala pass kis din kam aayega.
Views : 272 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
HIEGHT OF FASION
height of fashion?
dhoti wid zip.
height of secrecy?
blank visiting card.
height of stupidity?
looking thru a keyhole of glass door.
height of honesty?
pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket.
height of de-hydration?
a cow giving milk powder.
height of timewasting?
u reading the whole msg
Views : 318 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Latest Joke
JOY N HAPPINESS
hey listen......
two people were asking
me about you,
i give them ur address
and cell no,
they will b visiting u soon,
their names r joy n happiness.
Views : 285 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
DICTIONARY
dictionary is da only place where death comes before life,
success before work,
& divorce before marriage.
but the best part is
friend comes before relatives :)
Views : 202 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
BUY A PILLOW
true love is like a pillow
u could hug it when u r in trouble
u could cry on it when u r in pain
u could embrace it when u r happy
want true love?
spend rs.50 buy a pillow
Views : 218 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
I MISS YOU ALWAYS
you must be a good runner because
you are always running in my mind,
you must be a good thief because
you have stolen my heart,
and
i am always a bad shooter because
i miss you always...
Views : 217 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
SAY NO TO EXAM
it takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.
join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
say no to exams
Views : 311 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Cricket Joke
IF IT STAND
a student grabbed a coin,
flipped it in the air & said,
“head, i go to sleep.”
tail, i watch a movie.
if it stands on the edge i’ll study
Views : 467 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Pappu Joke
WE DON'T CARE
exams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
the teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
we dont care !!
Views : 417 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
HEIGHT OF HOPE
wats d height of hope??
it is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
exams wil get postponed!”
Views : 381 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
popcorn
tawe pe pada popcorn uchalta kyo hai ?
socho !!
are yaar thik se socho !!
nahi soch paye ? thik hai, jawab chahate ho to
khud baith ke dekh lo tawae par,
pata chal jayega.
Views : 303 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Oct 2015
More Intellectual Joke
BIG DIVIDENDS
a nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. she had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a chinese restaurant in the concourse. she started to shake as she read her fortune cookie: “today’s investment will pay big dividends!”
Views : 214 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
THE BIG CRUSH
it is the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the centre of the road. they collide and a fair amount of damage is done, miraculously neither driver is hurt.
they both get out. one is a doctor, one is a lawyer. the lawyer calls the police on his cell phone and they say they will be there within 20 minutes.
it’s cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. the lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who then puts it away.
“aren’t you going to have a drink?” the doctor says.
“after the police get here.” replies the lawyer
Views : 197 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Sep 2015
More Pappu Joke
A STUPID MAN
there was a flood in a village.
one man said to everyone, “i’ll stay! god will save me!”
the flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said “come on mate, get in!”
“no” replied the man. god will save me!
the flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
a helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.“
no, god will save me!” he said
eventually he died by drowning.
he got by the gates of heaven and he said to god “why didn’t you save me?”
god replied, “for goodness sake! i sent a boat and a helicopter. what more do you want!”
Views : 329 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
ADMS RIB
adam was walking around the garden of eden feeling very lonely, so god asked adam, “what is wrong with you?”
adam said, “lord, i don’t have anyone to talk to.”
god said, “then i will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. this person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. she will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love’ and compassion whenever needed. she will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. she will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…”
adam asked god, “what will this woman cost?”
god said, “an arm and a leg…”
adam said, “what can i get for just a rib?”
Views : 313 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Sep 2015
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A SECOND LANGUAGE
a family of mice were surprised by a big cat. father mouse jumped and and said, “bow-wow!” the cat ran away. “what was that, father?” asked baby mouse. “well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language
Views : 267 |
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Joke Posted on : 28 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
HE WAS NOT MY FRIEND
a man to santa-- ur frnd is kissing ur wife in ur home,
he rushes to his home
and come with in half an hour n
slapped tat man n said--
he was not my frnd..
Views : 268 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
GARAMPANI
sardarji: ghar mai mera he hukam chalta hai.
mai kehta hon, garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
dost: garam pani q?
sardar: garam pani se bartan achay dhultay hain.
Views : 270 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
SUGAR LEVEL
rasdeep goes into the kitchen and opens the cookie jar. he looks inside and closes it. his wife observes the whole episode and says nothing. again rasdeep enters the kitchen and does the same thing.
his wife asks, rasdeep, why are you doing that?'
rasdeep replies, 'the doctor told to check my sugar level regularly.'
Views : 242 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
OUT SHOPPING
gatnam went to the sale at electrical shop and he found a bargain. 'i would like to buy this small tv,' he told the salesman.
'sorry, we don't sell to sardars,' he replied.
so gatnam hurried home, removed his turban, and changed his hair style and
eturned to repeat to the salesman, 'i would like to buy this tv.'
'sorry, we don't sell to sardars,' the salesman replied for a second time.
'damn! gatnam exploded, 'he recognized me.'
he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, different clothes, big sunglasses and he waited a few days until he saw the salesman again.
'i would like to buy this tv.'
'sorry, we don't sell to sardars,' the salesman replied.
angry now and frustrated, gatnam shouted, 'how do you know i'm a sardar?'
'because that's a microwave,' he replied.
Views : 193 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
YOU NEED FM RADIO
girl: mujhe ek aisa husband chahiye jo achi achi baatein kare
hansi mazaq kare or raton ko muje songs sunaye
sardar: tusi husbnd nu maro goli
fm radio le lo.
Views : 263 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
HONEYMOON NIGHT
shadi ki raat sardar apni bv k liye gulab ka phool le kr aaya
bv:
mujhe ye nhi chahiye, koi sonay ki cheez do..
sardar:ye lo takiya aur so jao.
Views : 221 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
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EGYPTIAN MUMMY
two sardarjis are looking at an egyptian mummy.
sardar 1: look, so many bandages! must be a pukka (real) lorry accident case.
sardar 2: aaho, lorry number is also written...bc 1760!!!
Views : 76 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
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BAJAJ SCOOTER
nasa was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. the scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. however, on the day of the launch, something seemed to be wrong. the rocket made all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. the engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.
finally, manjit, a sardar offered to help. the nasa scientists were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.
'tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right,' said manjit in a serious voice. the engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.
'bring it back to vertical position, the manjit added. the engineers did.
'now start the engines,' instructed manjit. the rocket took off and flew into space. everybody thanked and congratulated manjit and asked him how he knew what to do.
he replied, 'it is very simple. this is what we always do with our bajaj scooters in india.'
Views : 230 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
STUDY
anta: i am a most proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
banta: really, what is he studying?
santa: no is not studying, they are studying him.
Views : 149 |
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Joke Posted on : 24 Sep 2015
More Pappu Joke
IMPROVE HANDWRITING
pappu apne dost golu ko udas hoke bata raha thha
pappu: “yaar bohat mushkil hai teacher se pyar karna”
golu: “kyun?”
pappu: “love letter bheja tha assignment samajh kar check kar diya or boli handwriting improve karo
Views : 303 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
MOTIVATING
teacher santa ko class mein khada karti hai aur kehti hai
teacher: “santa, can u translate the following sentence in a single english word? – moti larki intezaar kar rahi hai?”
santa: “oh! it is so easy ….. ….. …….. motivating.
Views : 236 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
TRAIN IS COMING ON THE PLATFORM
santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
banta: santa u’ll die.
santa: u’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
Views : 213 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
SANTA and JUDGE
santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
the judge: what’ll you take 30 days or rs 3000.
santa: i think i’ll take the money.
Views : 213 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
SUICIDE OF FROG
frog: tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
santa: hai.
frog: nahin hai.
santa: hai.
frog: nahin hai & jumps into the well.
santa: isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Views : 332 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
PRESENT AT THE TIME OF DIE
banta: marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
santa: birla cement.
banta: kyun?
santa: kyunki is cement mein jaan hai.
Views : 212 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Pappu Joke
WHAT IS THE TENTH MONTH
teacher: what is the first month?
student: january
teacher: what is the second month?
student: february
teacher: what is the tenth month?
student: delivery
Views : 355 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
WIFE and THIVES
wife to her husband: wake up. some thieves have broken into our house. i think they are now eating the food i made last night.
husband: oh! let's better call the ambulance then.
Views : 252 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
WONDERFULL NURSES
patient to his friend: the nurse in this hospital is really wonderful. she touched me and my fever got cured immediately.
friend: yeah, i could hear her touch your cheek in the next room.
Views : 268 |
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Joke Posted on : 23 Sep 2015
More Latest Joke
ONE RABBIT AT HOME
little johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:
tester: if i give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
little johnny : seven!
tester : no, listen carefully again. if i give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
little johnny : seven!
tester : let's try this another way. if igive you two bottles of beer, and twobottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?
little johnny : six.
tester : good! now, if i give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
little johnny : seven!
tester : how on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
little johnny: i've already got one rabbit at home!
Views : 110 |
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Joke Posted on : 15 Sep 2015
More Latest Joke
WHERE IS FIFTH.
4 boys on bike.
police:” triple riding is banned aur tum
4 baithe ho.. ??
.
.
boys shocked..
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
.
.
.
and says:” saalo 5wa kaha gir gya.. ??
Views : 221 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Sep 2015
More Pappu Joke
TUTION TEACHER
2nd class ka baccha apni miss se kehta
hai..
mai apko kesa lagta hun ??
miss: so sweet..
baccha: to phir mai apne ammi abbu
ko aap ke ghar kab bheju.. ??
miss: wo q.. ??
bacha: “q ki wo hamari baat aage
chalaye..!
miss: ye kya bakwas hai..?
baccha:
.
.
.
.
tution padhane ke liye ..!!
miss aap bhi na kasam se
tv dekh dekh ke kaafi bigad gayi
hain… !!
Views : 308 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
I M A TAXY DRIVER
anta tez baarish mein doctor ke paas gaya
santa: doctor saab ghar par checkup ki kya fee hai?
doctor: 300/-
santa: phir jaldi chaliye doctor saab.
doctor ne car nikali aur dono santa ke ghar pahunch gaye.
doctor: mareez kahan hai?
santa: mareez-wareez koi nahi hai, mua taxy wala ghar tak jaane ke 500/- maang raha tha aap 300/- mein le aaye.
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
RING MASTER and SANTA
ek baar santa new year ke din circus dekhne jata hai.
toh circus mein ladki ne sher ko kiss kiya.
ring master: aap mein se koi yeh kaam kar sakta hai?
santa: main aata hoon na,
par pehle iss sher ko peeche karo.
Views : 232 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
AT UR OWN RISK
strange but true.
.
.
duniya me har insaan ka alag
naam hai..
.
.
magar bheed me jab hum aawaz
lagate hai..
.
.
.
“abe kaminey”
kasam se 20 me se 18 log palat kar
dekhte hai…
moral : agar yakeen nai hota toh try
karke dekho
caution: try at ur own risk
Views : 203 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Sep 2015
More Pappu Joke
YOURS FAITHFULY
letter to principal salam saale! yeh bata kaun haramkhor paper set karta hai? kamino , students ki jaan nikal jati hai. upar se paper checking to aise hoti h jaise apni maa k maut ka badla le rahe ho. aisa sylbus banaya jaise tumhare yahan toh saale sab topper hi janme hai. tera baap bhi is paper me pas nai hoga! tu khud is paper me 10 bar fail hoga.tu kabhi bahar mil saale bataunga tujhe. urs faithfully, (pagal hu jo apna naam likhunga)
Views : 262 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Sep 2015
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CEASER ON THE ROCK
a roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “you mean a martini?” the bartender asks. the roman replies, “if i wanted a double, i would have asked for it!”
another roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “five beers, please.”
Views : 86 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
BEAUTIFUL
“ women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at
it..
but coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like
10 other women in
front of 10,000 people
Views : 262 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
WORLD NEEDS U AFTERALL
hey friend remember dat without
stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty..
so the world needs you after all!
Views : 221 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
MADE BY A MISTAKE
pathan was asked to change
a sentence into passive voice
i made a mistake
’pathan
i was made by a mistake
Views : 273 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
CHEWING GUM
a kid on his way 2 home with his mom
saw a couple kissing on the road,
he suddenly shouted & said:
look mom look, that boy and girl
are fighting for a chewing gum
Views : 276 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
PULL THE DRAIN PLUG
a journalist to a doctor of a mental hospital:
“how do you determine whether to admit a patient or not?”
doctor: “well, we first fill a bathtub with water till the top. then give a teaspoon,
a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask him / her to empty the bathtub.”
journalist: “obviously a normal person would use a bucket because it’s bigger!”
doctor: “no you stupid, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Views : 249 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Latest Joke
TO WHOM R U TALKING?
a trainee in an mnc dialed the ceo by mistake & said:
hey, send a coffee to accounts dept. do it fast..
ceo: do u know with whom r u talking???
trainee: no!!!
ceo: i’m the ceo of this company…
trainee: do u know with whom r u talking???
confused ceo answers slowly: no…
trainee: thank god!!!
(disconnected the phone & said: all is well.. all is well.. all is well
Views : 216 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
HEART MELTING STORY
heart melting love story:
boy: i can’t marry u.
my family is totally against it.
girl: who r they 2 stop u?
boy: my wife & 2 kids.
Views : 312 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
UNDERSTANDING A GIRL
understanding a girl:
.
.
.
this is like downloading a 4gb file.
at the speed of 2kbps.
which ends up..
in a error at 99\\% completed!
Views : 290 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
MOSQUITO
how to kill a mosquito:
catch it alive,
tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of poison ….
Views : 319 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
NEWTON'S LAW
a cow was walking, newton stopped it..he stopped,,
he found his 1st law..
“an OBJECT continues to move unless it stops”
.
.
he gave a force by kicking the cow
it gave a sound
he formulated the 2nd law..
“force,f=ma”
.
.
after sometimes cow gave a kick to newton,,
then he formulated 3rd law..
“every action has an equal and opposite reaction”
Views : 283 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Sep 2015
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MAGICIAN and BOAT
a magician was working on a cruise ship in the caribbean. the audience was different each week so he did same tricks over and over.
the problem was, the captain's parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
he started shouting in the middle of the show: 'look, it's not the same hat. look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?' the magician was furious but, as it was the captain's parrot, he could do nothing. then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot.
they glared at each other but said nothing. finally, after a week, the parrot said: 'ok, i give up. where's the boat?'
Views : 230 |
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Joke Posted on : 9 Sep 2015
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DO YOU HAVE ANY CORN
a duck walks into a post office and asks the man behind the counter: 'do you have any corn?' the man answers politely: 'no, we don't have any corn here.' the next day, the duck enters again and asks: 'do you have any corn?' annoyed, the man answers: 'no! we don't have any corn.' this goes on for a couple of days until finally, when the duck asks 'do you have any corn?', the man gets so upset he yells: 'no! for the last time we don't have any corn, and if you ask again i'll nail your beak to the counter!' the next day, the duck
eturns and asks: 'do you have any nails?' the man answers: 'no.' then the duck asks: 'do you have any corn?'
Views : 234 |
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Joke Posted on : 9 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
RICH COUNTRY
in a closed circle of friends (middle aged group) someone mentioned about the secret of financial prosperity of a smelly country like japan.
the secret is that there is cottage industry in every home something or the other is being produced in every home. that makes the country rich.
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Joke Posted on : 9 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
SANTA SON and MATHS
santa to son: “maths vich fail kyu hoya”..??
son: 1st day teacher kendi
5+3=8..
agle din kendi
6+2=8..
fir kendi
4+4=8
ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi!!
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Joke Posted on : 9 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
SUICIDE
ek baar santa singh ne ek mendak se puchha ki ‘sardaro me dimag hota hai’?
mendak bola: nahin, aur paani mein kood gaya.
santa sardar pura din sochta raha isme suicide karne wali kya baat thi ?
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Joke Posted on : 9 Sep 2015
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SANTA STUDENT
sir: define energy ?
santa sardar: sir poora nahin aata hai, thoda last ka pata hai, bas.
sir: thik hai, koi baat nahin, jitna aata hai utna bolo.
santa: “and this is called energy……”
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Joke Posted on : 9 Sep 2015
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TWINS
a woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named ‘amal.’ the other goes to a family in spain, they name him juan’. years later; juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of amal. her husband responds, ”but they are twins. if you’ve seen juan, you’ve seen amal.”
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Joke Posted on : 8 Sep 2015
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A TAXEN IN AUSTRALIA
a texan in australia
a texan farmer goes to australia for a vacation. there he meets an aussie farmer and gets talking. the aussie shows off his big wheat field and the texan says, 'oh! we have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.' then they walk around the ranch a little, and the aussie shows off his herd of cattle. the texan immediately says, 'we have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.' the conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. he asks, 'and what are those?' the aussie replies with an incredulous look, 'don't you have any grasshoppers in texas?'
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Joke Posted on : 7 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
A NICE CATCH
the rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. a ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. a tipsy- ooking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'fishing,' the old man said simply.
'poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. as he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'and how many have you caught?'
'you're the eighth,' the old man answered.
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Joke Posted on : 7 Sep 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
IS THERE A WAR ?
two women neighbours are talking.
'mary, what's wrong with you? are you ill? i saw the doctor coming out of your house twice last week.'
'so what? i saw an officer coming out of your house five times last week but i'm not saying that a war has broken out.'
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Joke Posted on : 7 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
TRAIN ENGINE
santa ke lips jale hue the banta: kaise jale santa: wife ko railway station drop krne gaya tha. banta: to? santa: khushi ke mare. train ke engine ko choom liya.
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Joke Posted on : 7 Sep 2015
More Intellectual Joke
CONFUSION
teacher : beta, tumhare sare answers galat hain… student : kamal karte ho sir ji, marks hi toh mang rhe, pyar se mang rahe de do warna do thapad marke bhi le sakte.. teacher : bathmez kahin ke !!! student : sir, batmezi se yaad aya apke pitaji kaise hain?? teacher : nikal ja class se.. student : sir, chupchap marks de do warna answer sheet me itne cheed kar denge ki confusion ho jaoge ki fail kahan likhe aur zero kahan!!!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Sep 2015
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WHAT PROBLEM?
patient : doctor, i have a serious memory problem. i can't remember anything!
doctor : so, since when did you have this problem ?
patient : what problem?
doctor is shock
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
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HE IS NOT MY FREIND
funny man to amli: your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
amli rushed home angrily.
after half an hour, he came back and slapped the funny man.
amli said: you fool, he is not my friend
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
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GET RID OF WIFE
ramlal (shyamlal se) – “yaar mujhe meri biwi se chhutkara chaahiye ! mai tang aa gaya hoon … hamesha maili-kuchaili rahti hai, bekar sa khana pakati hai aur jab dekho tab jhagadti rahti hai !”
shyamlal – “kabhi usse pyaar-vyaar karte ho ?”
ramlal – “kaahe ka pyaar … maine to use 2 saal se chhua tak nahi !”
shyamlal – “phir to tumhara kaam aasaan hai … tu ek kaam kar … aaj jaakar usse khoob pyaar kar … aise ki jaise tu usse kabhi naaraaz thaa hee nahi ! dekhna, yeh dekhkar use hairaani se dil ka daura pad jaayega aur woh nipat jaaegi !”
ramlal ko apne dost kee baat jam gai. agali subah usne waisa hee kiya jaisa uske dost ne kahaa thaa.
shaam ko jab wah ghar pahuncha to usne dekha ki ghar ekdam saaf-suthra ho gaya hai, kitchen me se badhiya pakwaanon kee khushbu aa rahi hai aur uski wife badhiya make-up karke achchhe kapde pehan kar uske saamne paani ka glass lekar muskuraate huye khadi hai …
ramlal ne hairaani se yeh sab dekhte huye patni se bola – “yeh kya hua ?”
wife – “tum mere saath tarike se pesh aaoge to kya mai tumhare saath tarike se pesh nahi aaoongi !”
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
LIVE DEMO OF MARRIAGE LIFE
ek aadmi ne ek din apni biwi ko bataaye bina apne ek dost ko khane par ghar bula liya.
achanak aaye dost ko dekhte hee biwi ka para chadh gaya. usne pati ka haath pakda aur doosre kamre me le jaakar barasne lagi – “meri haalat dekho, na to maine dhang ke kapde pehne hain, na hee make-up kiya hai … aur khana banaane ka to aaj mera bilkul bhi mood nahi hai … main tumhari naukrani nahi hoon .. aakhir kya sochkar tumne apne dost ko yahaan bulaaya ? bolo ?”
pati – “kyonki jaanu, wo shaadi karne soch rahaa hai aur maine use shaadishuda zindagi ka ek live demo dene ka promise kiya tha !!”
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
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ONLINE MARRIAGE
aajkal ham jis tarah online hote jaa rahe hain, hamaari baate, shubh kaamnayen online hoti jaa rahi hain, aisa lagta hai ki varsh 2050 me vivaah bhi kuchh is tarah sampann honge –
pandit – saare baaraati online aa jaayen, dulhe ko online bulaayen, dulhan ko bhi online le aaiye …
sabhi ke online aane par …
pandit – kya aap dono apna status ‘single’ se ‘married’ karne ko taiyaar hain ?
dulha-dulhan : haan ….
pandit – chaliye, sabhi group members flower smiley daaliye …
vivah sampann hua …
pandit – kalyaan ho ! ab dakshina swaroop mere mobile number par 6 maheene ka recharge karaane kee kripa karen !
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
NEW WIFE OF SANTA
santa kee nai-nai shaadi hui thee phir bhi use ghar jaane ki koi jaldi nahi hoti. woh der tak office mein hee baitha rahta.
one day boss asked – “wife se jhagda chal rahaa hai kya ?”
santa replied – “no no sir … aisee koi baat nahi ! baat ye hai ki meri wife bhi job karti hai isliye hum dono mein jo bhi pahle ghar pahunchta hai, khana use hi banaanaa padta hai !”
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
SANTA and HIS WIFE
santa – “maine 2 shaadiyan kee lekin dono hi baar meri kismat footi nikli … ”
banta – “woh kaise ?”
santa – “pahli wali mujhe chhodkar chali gai aur doosri wali mujhe chhodkar jaana nahi chahti … !”
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
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WIFE and SHERNI
ek aadmi ek khatarnaak sherni khareed kar ghar le aaya.
padosiyon ne poochha – “bhaai ye sherni kyon le aaye ?”
aadmi ne udaas swar me bataaya – “last month meri wife gujar gai naa … toh ab uske bina ghar badaa soona-soona lagta hai mujhe … !”
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Joke Posted on : 3 Sep 2015
More Pappu Joke
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL
the phone bill was exceptionally high. man called a family meeting to discuss.
dad: this is unacceptable. i don't use home phone, i use my work phone.
mum: me too. i hardly use home phone. i use my companies phone.
son: i use my office mobile, i never use the home phone.
all of them shocked and together looked at the maid who's patiently listening to them.
maid: what? so we all use our work phones. what's the big deal???
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Joke Posted on : 28 Aug 2015
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ALL IS FREE
manmohan singhji sabji kharidne gaye.
manmohan singhji: bhai sahab, ye bhindi kya bhaav hai?
sabjiwala: ab rulaoge kya? free mein le jao, pehli baar awaaz suni hai apki...
narendra modi sabji kharidne gaye.
narendra modi: bhai, ye bhindi kya bhaav hai?
sabjiwala: ab rulaoge kya??? muft mein le jao sir ji, jab se aap pm bane hain, uske baad pehli baar aapko india mein dekha hai!!!
rahul gandhi sabji kharidne gaya.
rahul gandhi: bhaiya, ye bhindi kya bhaav hai?
sabjiwala: ab rulaega kya pagle??? muft mein le ja aur ye bhindi nahin matar hain!!!
do you know ye sabjiwaala kaun tha?
ab tum log mil ke rulaoge kya?
arey yaar itna sab muft mein kejriwal ke ilawa kaun de sakta hai???
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Joke Posted on : 28 Aug 2015
More Pappu Joke
PAPPU and GRAND PA and MAA
pappu ke dada aur dadi ne apni jawani ke dino ko taaza karne ka socha. kaafi sochne ke baad unhone ye decide kiya ki vo phir se darya ke kinaray milenge, jaise puraane dinon mein chori-chupe mila karte the.
dada tayyar-shayyar ho kar, baal bana kar, kapdon mein scent laga ke, kaal bada waala chashma pehan ke, aur haath mein gulab lekar darya ke kinarey pahunch gaya aurr taza thandi hawaon mein intezar karn lage...
lekin bahut der intezar karne ke baad bhi unki girlfriend nahin aayi...
dada ko bahut gussa aaya. jab wo wapas ghar pahunche toh dekha ki dadi kursi per baithi muskura rahi thi.
dada, gusse se: tum aayi kyun nahi??? dadi sharmati huye: mummy ne ghar se bahar jane nahi diya.
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Joke Posted on : 28 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
ON THE HOUSE
ek baar santa restaurant mein jaata hai aur zor se bolta hai: mujhe ek bottle champagne chahiye aur baaki sab jo yahan baithe hain unko bhi champagne do..... kyunki jab mein champagne peeta hun toh main chahta hun ki sab champagne hi peeyein.
sab bade hairaan hote hain but saath mein khush bhi the kynki free ki champagne jo mil rahi thi.
drink ke baad santa phir chaillaya: mujhe ek tandoori chicken do aur baaki sab jo yahan baithe hain unko bhi tandoori chicken do..... kyunki main chahta hun jo main kha raha hun vo sab khaayein.
sab phir se bahut khush hote hai, taaliyaan bajate hain aur, seetiyaan maarte hain... chicken jo aane waala tha....
khaane ke baad santa phir se chaillaya: mujhe mera bill do aur yahan baithe baaki logon ko bhi unka bill do... kyunki mein chahta hun jaise main apna bill pay kar raha hun vaise hi sab apna apna bill pay karein...
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Joke Posted on : 28 Aug 2015
More Pappu Joke
DADAJI and HISTORY
pappu: dada ji aap kya kar rahe ho..?
dada ji: kitaab padh raha hoon....
pappu: kaun si kitaab...?
dada ji: history ki kitaab...
pappu: zara dehoon toh, ............ arey yeh toh kamasutra ki kitaab hai....
dada ji: haanh bacchey.... ab mere liye yeh sab history hi hua na.......
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Joke Posted on : 28 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
DOCTOR and SANTA
santa ke hip pe chot lag gayi. vo doctor ke paas jaa kar check karwaata hai.
doctor kehta hai: santa ji taanke lagaane padenge.
santa: ok, laga do.
doctor: aapka bill hua rs 5000.
santa: kya??? 5000???? o doctor saab, aapne taanke hi lagaye hain ya kashmiri kadhaai ki hai???
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Joke Posted on : 28 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
HOW MANY LEGES DOES AN ANT HAVE?
q: what are two things people never eat before breakfast?
a: lunch and supper.
q: what do tigers have that no other animals have?
a: baby tigers.
q: why is the number six afraid?
a: because seven eight nine (seven ate nine)
q: how many legs does an ant have?
a: two, the same as an uncle.
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Joke Posted on : 27 Aug 2015
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BEGGER TO SANTA
भिखारी संता से : साहब 10 रुपए दे दो. चाय पीनी है!
संता : चाय तो 5 की आती है!
भिखारी: गर्लफ्रेंड भी पिएगी.
सांता : भिखारी ने भी गर्लफ्रेंड बना ली !
भिखारी : नहीं साहब, गर्लफ्रेंड ने भिखारी बना दिया!
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Joke Posted on : 27 Aug 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
ARE YOU GOING AWAY?
husband apne hath mein ek lifafa leke aya aur biwi se bola.
husband: “begam, dekho aaj main tumhare liye kya laya hun?”
wife: “kyaa laye?”
husband: “kelay, kheeray, gaajar, touri aur mooli le kar aaya hoon”
wife: “kyun, aap kuchh din ke liye kahin bahar jaa rahe hain kyaa?“
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Joke Posted on : 26 Aug 2015
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DAD and SON
dad: say daddy!
baby: mommy!
dad: come on, say daddy!
baby: mommy!
dad: f*ck you, say daddy!
baby: f*ck you, mommy!
mom: honey, i'm home!
baby: f*ck you!
mom: who taught you that?
baby: daddy!
dad: son of a b*tch.
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Joke Posted on : 25 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
police: where do u live?
me: with my parents
police: where does ur parents live?
me: with me
police: where do u all live?
me: together
police: where is ur house?
me: next to my neighbors house
police: where is your neighbors house?
me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
police: tell me
me: next to my house
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Joke Posted on : 25 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
DEPRESSED BANTA
santa! your daughter has died!
depressed, banta jumps from 100th floor.
at 50th floor he remembers i don't have a daughter!
at 25th floor he remembers i'm unmarried!
at 10th floor he remembers i'm banta not santa!
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Joke Posted on : 20 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
R U MARRY?
police: r u married?
santa: yes, with a woman.
police (angrily) : of course! did u even hear of anyone marrying a man?
sardar: yes, my sister did....!!!
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Joke Posted on : 20 Aug 2015
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STYLISH BREAKUP
stylish breakup
angry santa threw 6 cricket balls on his gf.
gf: “what the hell was that?”
santa: “its over”!
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Joke Posted on : 19 Aug 2015
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KAREENA'S BABY
kareena ko ladka hua,
bilkul kaala.
saif ne kaha:
tu gori, main gora
ladka kaise kala…?
kareena replied:
tu hot, main hot …
jal gaya saala..!!
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Joke Posted on : 19 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
JHONY JHONY YES PAPPA
johny jonhy yes papa – new version (heart touching poem)
whatsapp jokes 3 weeks ago
johny johny..
yes papa!
private job.
yes papa!
lot of tension..
yes papa!
too much work..
yes papa!
family life..
no papa!
bp-sugar..
high papa!
yearly bonus..
joke papa!
monthly pay..
low papa!
personal life..
lost papa!
weekly off!
ha ha ha!!
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Joke Posted on : 19 Aug 2015
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SONE KI CHEEJ
shadi ki raat sardar apni bv k liye gulab ka phool le kr aaya
bv:
mujhe ye nhi chahiye, koi sonay ki cheez do..
sardar:ye lo takiya aur so jao.
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Joke Posted on : 18 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
LINE
teacher : kisi aise dravya ka naam batao jise jama nahi sakte.
student : garam paani !
teacher : kaun se mahine mein 28 din hote hai ?
student : sir, wo to har mahine mein hote hai !
teacher (gusse se) : ja, bahar jakar line mein sabse akhir mein khade ho ja...
.
thodi der bad..
.
teacher (gusse se) : tuje meine kaha tha n akhir mein khada ho ja... !
student : sir, par us jagah par pahele se hi koi khada hai... !
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 14 Aug 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
DUR BAGHYA HAMARA
husband wife mein jagda ho jata hai tab...
wife ; mein apne mayke chali jaugi.
husband : aho bhagya hamare !
wife : bad mein tumhe hairan karne wala koi nahi hoga.
husband : aho bhagya hamare !
wife : mein suicide kar lungi.
husband : aho bhagya hamare !
wife : bad mein muje yaad kar, anshu bahaoge.
husband : jaisa bhaggya hamara !
wife : jao, sabhi bato mein tumhara accha bhagya ho, to mein suicide nahi karti !
husband : dur bhagya hamare !
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Joke Posted on : 14 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
PRAN JAYE PAR VACHAN NA JAYE
once amitabhh bachchann and pran were travelling in a train and were engaged in a good gossip for the entire journey. a station came after hours and pran boarded off. mr. bachchan remained. a stranger co-passenger asked to mr. bachchan, “both of you seemed good friend, why didn’t you go away with him.” amitabh said, “pran jae per vachan na jae.”
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Joke Posted on : 13 Aug 2015
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MY WIFE SAW YOU
after robbing the bank, 1 robber to clerk : did you see me robbing?
clerk : yes i saw u.
robber killed him and asked to the next clerk : did u?
second clerk : no, but my wife saw u!
Views : 223 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
LION and SANTA
santa- ek bar mai bathroom gaya to vaha sher
aa gaya.
banta - phir kya hua.
santa- fir kya mene sher se kaha aap kar lo mera to ho gaya.
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Joke Posted on : 13 Aug 2015
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BMW- BAHUT MOTI WIFE
santa- muje shadi me bmw mili he.
banta- lekin bmw to bahut mahangi gadi he.
santa - abe gadhe gadi nahi bmw matlab
bahut moti wife mili he.
banta shocked.
Views : 720 |
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Joke Posted on : 13 Aug 2015
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FIGURE
ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”
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Joke Posted on : 12 Aug 2015
More Rajinikanth Joke
RAJNI'S EMAIL ID
rajnikant creates new email id:
.
.
.
.
.
.
gmail@rajnikant .com
.
.
.
.
hackers dies......
virus cries.........
google shocks....
computer blocks....
rajnikant rocks..
Views : 406 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
CHARACTER
teacher: agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko maa kaha karo.
student: madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
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Joke Posted on : 11 Aug 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
KASH AISA HOTA
wife : jaanu, kaash aap msg hote,
main aapko save karti, jab chahe padhti.
husband : kanjoos hee rahiyo,
save hi karke rakhiyo, apni kisi saheli ko forward na kariyo !!!
#
husband : kaash main ganpati hota. tum roz meri pooja karti, mujhe laddu khilati, bada mazaa aata.
wife : haan, kaash tum ganpati hote. roz tumko laddu khilati, har saal visarjan karti, naye ganpati aate, bada maza aata !!!
Views : 378 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Aug 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
WIFE OF A SOFTWARE ENGINEERE
husband – hey dear, i am logged in.
wife – would you like to have some snacks?
husband – hard disk full.
wife – have you brought the saree.
husband – bad command or file name.
wife – but i told you about it in morning
husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
wife – hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.
husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.
wife – at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
husband – sharing violation, access denied.
wife – i made a mistake in marrying you.
husband – data type mismatch.
wife – you are useless.
husband – by default.
wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?
husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to reboot.
wife – what is the relation between you & your receptionist?
husband – the only user with write permission.
wife – what is my value in your life?
husband – unknown virus detected.
wife – do you love me or your computer?
husband – too many parameters..
wife – i will go to my dad’s house.
husband – program performed illegal operation, it will close.
wife – i will leave you forever.
husband – close all programs and log out for another user.
wife – it is worthless talking to you.
husband – shut down the computer.
wife – i am going
husband – its now safe to turn off your computer
Views : 181 |
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Joke Posted on : 11 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
KEY OF SUCCESS
teacher: behind every successful man there is a women
what do we learn from this?
student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman
Views : 165 |
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Joke Posted on : 10 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
YOU ARE A FATHER NOW
santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha
aadmi : kyu maar rahe ho?
banta sasur : meinie ise hospital se sms kiya.
tum baap ban gaye ho. isne apne sare friends ko forward kar diya!
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Joke Posted on : 7 Aug 2015
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MEMORY CARD
santa : mujhe mobile me mp3 songs dalwane hai.
mobile shop wala : memory card hai kya?
santa : nahi memory card nahi hai, rasan card chalega?
Views : 218 |
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Joke Posted on : 7 Aug 2015
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BEGGER and SANTA
bhikari: kuch khane ko dedo.
santa - tamatar khao
bikari - roti dedo
santa - tamatar khao
bikari -l ao tamatar hi do
santa ki mumy - ye totla h,keh rha h,
kamakar khao.
Views : 196 |
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Joke Posted on : 6 Aug 2015
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TUMHARE PASS DIMAG HAI?
frog: tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
santa: hai.
frog: nahin hai.
santa: hai.
frog: nahin hai & jumps into the well.
santa: isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Views : 251 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Aug 2015
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FIND A WOMAN
teacher: behind every successful man there is a women
what do we learn from this?
student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman
Views : 71 |
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Joke Posted on : 5 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
FIGTING FOR A CHEWING GUM
a kid on his way 2 home with his mom
saw a couple kissing on the road,
he suddenly shouted & said:
look mom look, that boy and girl
are fighting for a chewing gum
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Joke Posted on : 5 Aug 2015
More Girls-Boys Joke
WHICH LAPTOP DO U HAVE?
girl: which laptop do u have..?
boy : i have a hp g-62 with intel core i3 processor 2.3 ghz,
windows 7, 64 bit..
2 gb ram & intel 1 gb graphics card..
and which laptop do u have..?
girl: pink colour …
Views : 306 |
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Joke Posted on : 4 Aug 2015
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BOY N GIRL
when a guy does something wrong…
girl : you broke my favorite lamp !!!
boy : it was an accident… i didn’t mean to..!!
girl : i can’t believe you did this.
boy : i’m sorry..
when a girl does something wrong…
boy : you lost my dog??!!!
girl : it was an accident… i didn’t mean to..!!
boy : i can’t believe you did this.
girl : i already feel bad about it..!! stop making me feel worse..!!
boy : i’m sorry.. !!
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Joke Posted on : 4 Aug 2015
More Intellectual Joke
THREE ANTS N ONE ELEPHANT
hree ants find an elephant asleep.
one says,”we’ll kill him!”
other one says,”we’ll break his legs!”
3rd one says:
“choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!”:-)
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Joke Posted on : 4 Aug 2015
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HOW TO ADMIT ONE IN METNAL HOSPITAL
a journalist to a doctor of a mental hospital:
“how do you determine whether to admit a patient or not?”
doctor: “well, we first fill a bathtub with water till the top. then give a teaspoon,
a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask him / her to empty the bathtub.”
journalist: “obviously a normal person would use a bucket because it’s bigger!”
doctor: “no you stupid, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
admit this idiot in ward no. 39
Views : 261 |
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Joke Posted on : 4 Aug 2015
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Who am I?
a trainee in an mnc dialed the ceo by mistake & said:
hey, send a coffee to accounts dept. do it fast..
ceo: do u know with whom r u talking???
trainee: no!!!
ceo: i’m the ceo of this company…
trainee: do u know with whom r u talking???
confused ceo answers slowly: no…
trainee: thank god!!!
(disconnected the phone & said: all is well.. all is well.. all is well.
Views : 187 |
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Joke Posted on : 4 Aug 2015
More Pappu Joke
HOMEWORK and PAPPU
“pappu, where’s your homework?” miss martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
“my dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“pappu, i’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. do you really expect me to believe that?”
“it’s true, miss martin, i swear it is,” insisted johnny. “i had to smear it with honey, but i finally got him to eat it.”
Views : 263 |
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Joke Posted on : 4 Aug 2015
More Santa-Banta Joke
COLD DRINK
ek budiya cinema hall me cold drink ki bottle leke baithi thi,
kabhi 15 mint me ghunt leti to kabhi 20 mint me,
pass bethe santa ko gussa aa gaya,
usne botal uthai aur puri ek ghut me pi gaya aur bola:-aise pi jata he cold drink.
budhiya boli:beta me to pan ki pichkari thuk rahi thi..!!@
Views : 237 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Jul 2015
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BAJRANG
doctor:which soap u use?
santa: bajrang soap,bajrang paste,bajrang brush.
dr.is bajrang an international company?
santa: no bajrang is my room partner..
Views : 195 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Jul 2015
More Intellectual Joke
SCIENTIST & DOG
some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
for the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. the dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
for the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. the dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
for the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. however, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.
as a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Views : 241 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Jul 2015
More Pappu Joke
PAPPU & TEACHER
teacher: what is the name of the capital city of punjab ?
pappu: amritsar.
teacher: pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
pappu: please madam, can i ask you a few questions.
teacher: yes, go ahead.
pappu: do you know jeeto ?
teacher: no.
pappu: do you know preeto ?
teacher: no.
pappu: do you know banto?
teacher: (angry) hell no! who are all these people and why do you ask ?
pappu: teacher, you need to focus more on your husband.
Views : 254 |
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Joke Posted on : 30 Jul 2015
More Husband Wife Joke
SATWAN JANAM
pati patni mandir main!
pati-tumne kya manga?
patni-ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
patni-aur aapne.
pati-ye mera saatwa janam ho
Views : 262 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Jul 2015
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SANTA IN CLASS
techr: tum late kyo aaye ho?
santa: mumy papa lad rhe the..
techr: wo lad rhe the to tum kyo late aaye?
santa=mera 1 juta maumy k pass or dusra papa k paas tha!..
Views : 201 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Jul 2015
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MISER HUSBAND
wife : had ur lunch.?
husband : had ur lunch.?
wife : i m asking you
husband : i m asking you
wife : u copying me.?
husband : u copying me?
wife : lets go shopping
husband :yes i had my lunch
Views : 920 |
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Joke Posted on : 29 Jul 2015
More Intellectual Joke
GERMS
teacher: what r the people of turkey called ?
student: i don’t know.
teacher: they r called turks, now what r the people of germany called ?
student: they r called germs
Views : 334 |
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Joke Posted on : 27 Jul 2015
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BABY
a three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“why is your stomach so big ?” – he asks.
“i m having a baby.” – she replies.
“is the baby in your stomach ?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“yes, it is.” – she says.
“is it a good baby ?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“oh, yes. a really good baby.” – the lady replies.
shocked and surprised, he asks: “then why did you eat him ?
Views : 92 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
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PLAY STORE
लड़का:- „whatsapp अपडे करलो..
लड़की:- कैसै करते है... ?
लड़का:- „play_store पे
जाओ न वहासे करलो
लड़की:- हमारे गांव
मैं नहीं है play store
Views : 390 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
More Pappu Joke
HOMEWORK
teacher: pappu tumne aaj fir apna homework nahi kiya,,
bolo tumhe kya saza du ???
pappu: teacher wo mere bagal wali ladki ne bi nahi kiya,,,
hum dono ko bathroom m band kardo..
-
Views : 284 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
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YAMRAJ
ek aadmi apne aap me kehta hue ja raha tha ki aisi zindagi se toh maut aachi.
achanak yamraj aa gaya aur bola “tumhari jaan lene ka hukm hai”
aadmi : lo batao, aab insaan jokes bhi nahi kar sakta hai kya ?
Views : 245 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
More Pappu Joke
ASSASSINATION
pappu 's father was teaching
the spelling of word “assassination”
to him.
.pappu says:
ek gadha(ass),
uspar ek aur gadha (ass)
jispar mein (i ),
aur mujh par sara desh(nation)
Views : 231 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
More Intellectual Joke
KHANA
meri lovely gf ke shadi ka card mila bahut bura laga yaar,
baad me soocha, shadi me jauga jarur
kyko love apne jagah hai aur
lazedar puri-sabji, pulao apni jahah
Views : 243 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
More Latest Joke
BREAKUP
she- meri sis ne aaj saare paranthe
jala diye..
.
.
me- haan waise bhi wo bohot hot
hai !
*breakup *
Views : 223 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
More Pappu Joke
SCHOOL
बबलू -तू स्कूल क्यों नही जाता
पप्पू- कई बार गया अंकल वो वापिस भगा देते है
बबलू -क्यों पप्पू- कहते है भाग तेरा क्या काम लड़कियों के स्कूल में -
Views : 227 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
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FACEBOOK
kismat azma chuka hu naseeb azma raha
hu
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ek ladki patane ke khatir facebook ka page
chala raha hu ....
Views : 205 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
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FULL HD
अध्यापक : internet पे जो अश्लीलता है आप
उसे किस तरह से देखते हैं.. ?...
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.छात्र : जी full hd में....
Views : 233 |
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Joke Posted on : 22 Jul 2015
