more2 lovers ke beech fight ho rahi thi
gf: kamine!! mein tere kapde faad dungi.
bf: dekh ab tu serious ladai mein romantic baat maat kar.

Views : 496    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

moregirl: mcdonald’s chale?
boy: spelling bolo to hi jayenge.
girl: 1 kam karo kfc chalte hai.
boy: kfc ka fullform bolo
girl: rehne de kutte, samosa hi khila de. :’d

Views : 480    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

moreboy: suno jara.
girl: chup raho, khate time baat nahi karte,

khaane k baad

ladki: ab bolo
boy: teri plate mein cockroch tha, le aur ban heroine!

Views : 465    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

moreakbar: hamare ammi abba humse itni mohabt karte thhe,
ke hame sulane k lie sari sari raat jagte rehte, or hum fir b na sote the.

funny birbal: tbhi to aap eklote reh gaye huzoor

Views : 518    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

moreteacher: aaj tum late kyu aaye? school 7 baje shuru hota he.

funny kid: madam, aap meri fikar mat kia karo, school shuru karwa dia karo.

Views : 440    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

moreteacher: agar dharti pe pani na hota to kya hona tha.

bania ka beta: hum to kangaal ho jate. mera bapu milk me kya milata?

Views : 433    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

moreek aadmi god se:

tune bachpan diya,
chheen liya,

jawani di
chheen li,

paisa diya
wapas le liya,

ek biwi bhi
di hai
lena bhool gaya kya..??:p

Views : 431    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 14 Jul 2016

uncle: result ka kya hua beta? me: result ko chhodo uncle aap sunao kaise ho? uncle: bas jee rahe h apke raaj me me - aree kaha uncle colonthree emoticon mera raaj hota to aap jaiso ko jeene hi na deta mai

Views : 373    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 May 2016

mom - mujhe kabhi gussa nahi ata beta - balika vadhu duniya ka sabse ghatiyaa show hai mom- 10 second de rahi hu jaha bhag sakta hai bhag le

Views : 316    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 May 2016

smart girl :ye t.v kitneka hai..salesman :50,000 ka..girl:isme kyaspecial hai ?..salesman :ye light jaanepe automaticoff ho jaata hai.girl : woow !! pack kar do

param

Views : 291    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 May 2016

gunde ka beta oral exam mein fail ho gaya aur aakar apne baap se bola :
un logon ne 3 ghante tak meri puch taach ki magar apun bhi teri aulad hai ,
saala kuch bhi nahi bola !!!!!

Views : 286    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 May 2016

santa toilet me betha tha

,saamne likha tha “paani ka zyada se zyada istmaal kare”

dimag to dekho



baithe baithe 4 dabbe pani pee gaya.

Views : 293    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 May 2016

me: uncle kaise hai aap?

uncle: first class..

me: aur aunty?

uncle: first class hi hai..

me: aur aapke bachche?

uncle: woh bhi first class hai ek dam..

me: bc! uncle aap log aadmi hai ya train ke dibbe.??

Views : 257    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 May 2016

teacher : name different type of cheese.

banta :
1. white
2. cottage
3. mozarella
4. cheddar
5. swiss blue
6. bekhudi
7. zindagi

teacher : wait a minute, what is 'bekhudi' and 'zindagi'?

banta : hosh walon ko khabar kya, 'bekhudi' kya cheese hai. ishq kijiye phir samjhiye, 'zindagi' kya cheese hai....

Views : 306    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 May 2016

me washing my car.

padosan aunty: aur beta kaise ho?kya kar rahe ho?car dho rahe ho.


me: nahi aunty. paani de raha hoon isko. shayad badi hokar bus banjaaye

Views : 260    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 May 2016

2 pathan 1 acidnt m mr gae,
frishta aya

2no se pocha kon ho?
boly muslman.

1 se pocha naam kia ha
bola
ikhlas khan
fristay ne kaha surat ikhlas sunao
usny jaldi sey suna di or bach gya

frishtay ne 2nd sy naam pocha
wo preshan ho kar bola
naam to yasin hai magr pyar se sb kosar kosar kehtay hen..

Views : 336    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 21 May 2016

kissing a girl on her fore head is
respect,
.
.
kissing a girl on her cheek is
care,
.
.
kissing a girl on her eyesis care
& love,
.
.
kissing a girl on her lips is love,
.
.
but kissing a girl in front of her
boyfriend ???
.
.
hud hud dabangg dabangg
dabangg .....

Views : 342    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 21 May 2016

??a true fact of private job life??


beemar employee se uski biwi boli - iss bar koi janwaro ke doctor ko dikhao? tabhi aap theek hoge??

pati - woh kyon ??

biwi -
roz subah ?? murge ki tarah jaldi uthh jate ho.... ??

ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho...?

gadhe ki tarah dinbhar kaam karte ho...?

lomadi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar report banate ho...?

bandar ki tarah client ke ishare par nachte ho...?

ghar aakar pariwar par kutte ki tarah chillate ho....??

aur fir bhainse ki tarah khaa kar so jate ho...??

insaano ka doctor? tumhe kya khakh thik kar payega!!!!

Views : 406    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 21 May 2016

dad: beta btao jaan kaha se niklti hai?
son: khidki se
dad: wo kaise?
son: kal raat ko didi ek ldke ko kah rhi thi jaan khidhi se nikal ja o...

Views : 353    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 21 May 2016

girl a.t.m pe pappu se
.
girl :- bhaiya mujhe apna
balance check karna
hai.....
aap meri help kar do....
.
.
.
.
.
pappu use ek jor ki laat
marta hai
aur
ladki gir jaati hai
.
.
.
.
.
pappu :- tera balance to bahut
kharab hai pagali...

Views : 323    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 21 May 2016

gabbar ki maa gabbar ko maar rahi thi ,
padosan boli kyon maar rahi ho ,
gabbar ki maa boli jabse paida hua hai tabse bol raha hai k
kitne aadmi the.

Views : 319    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 21 May 2016

car mai santa ki family jaa rahithi.police ne car ko roka -ye
suraksha week hai.
aap seat belt pehan kar car chalarahe ho, aapko5000 ka inaam diyajata hai.
aap is inaam ka kya karoge.
santa-mai iss se apna driving
licence banwaunga.
tabhi uski maa boli-iss ki baat ka
yakin mat karo.
daaru pi kar kuchh bhi bolta h.
uske papa neend se jage aur
police ko dekh ke bole -
mujhe pata tha ki chori ki car me
hm zyada door
nahi ja paenge.
tabhi car ki dikki se awaj aayi
hamne border cross kar liya hai
kya?

Views : 309    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 18 May 2016

kal jab mile thhe....
to dil mein hua ek sound.
aur aaj mile to kehte hain...
your file not found!

jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+ del kar doonga...

shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye....

laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double click karo...

roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...

aisa bhi nahin hai ke
i don't like your face.
par dil ke storage mein
no more disk space.

ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya server down

Views : 283    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 18 May 2016

boss-tumari ability ?
lady secretary-
young hu, dyanamic hu, sincere hu, honest hu, harworking hu, qualified hu,

experienced hu, deserving hu, typing janti hu,
file sahi rakhti hu, computer me expert hu,
thoda accounts b janti hu,

disease free aur healthy hu,
copper t lagayi hai,

7 positions aati hai,
69 me expert hu, aur

sabse jaruri baat k
apne flat me akeli rehti hu.

Views : 275    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 18 May 2016

apna banta pehli baar ek 5 star hotel mein gaya. jhijhakte hue usne chai ka order de diya.

kuch hi minutes mein ek well dressed aur smart sa waiter ek kettle mein garam pani, ek kettle mein garam doodh, kuch chai patti ke pouch aur kuch sugar cubes de gaya.

banta ne yahan wahan dekh kar, jaise taise chai banai aur pee lee.

thodi der baad waiter phir se aata hai aur banta se puchta hai: sir, kuch aur lenge aap ?

banta bade hi dissappointed se lahaje mein bolta hai: yaar ichcha toh biryani khaane ki thi but rehne do... mujhe banani nahin aati aur time bhi kaafi lag jayega...

Views : 446    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 29 Mar 2016

murgi anda deti hai & cow doodh deti hai to aisa koun hai jo dono deta hai
socho..
..
nahi pata?
..
ans - dukandar
intelligent hoon, par maa kasam kabhi ghamand nahi kiya !

Views : 455    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 29 Mar 2016

a girl to recharge vala
girl - 10 rs ka recharge kr do
recharge wala-mam 10rs mesirf
7 rs milenge
girl - ok koi bat nhi 3 rs.ki
eclairs de do !!

Views : 431    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 29 Mar 2016

bachha ghar se maar kha ke school jaa
raha tha
kisi ne pucha- beta padte ho ??
bachha- nahi school ki uniform pehen ke
tere baap ki baarat me jaa
raha
hu
chalega ?

Views : 452    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 29 Mar 2016

zoo mein ek sher ne santa ko maar-maar ke zakhmi kar diya
logo ne hairan hokar sher se puchha
“arey tum to bade sidhe-sadhe shareef the, santa ko maar maar ke kyu zakhmi kiya”
sher gusse se bola: “arey sale ne dimag kharab kar rakha tha, kitni der se bole jaa raha tha, itni badi billi – itni badi billi“

Views : 417    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 Mar 2016

biwi ko thapad marne k baad pati bola-
aadmi use hi marta h jise wo pyar karta h,
patni ne b 2 khinch k mare or boli-
aap kya smjhte h mai aap se pyar nhi krti.. ;p

Views : 385    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 Mar 2016

naukar-malik apka ye kutta toh ekdum insan k jaisa dikhta hai,
kya khilate ho?
malik-saale ye mera beta hai iit ki tayyari karte-karte aisa dikhne laga hai...

Views : 376    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 Mar 2016

class ki group photo dekhte hue
teacher baccho se kahne lagi
ki
jab tum log bade hoke ye deko
ge to kahoge,,
ye raju hai jo america chala
gaya... ye chandu hai jo london
chala gaya.
,
,
,
aur ye pappu hai jo wahi ka
wahireh gya..
pappu gusse se bola:”or ye
humari kamini teachar hai
jinka dehant ho gya…:p

Views : 414    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 Mar 2016

sir: samajh tujhe 10 laddu diy
pappu : mujhe??
sir: samajh na,, tere baap ka kya jata hai
usme se 5 mujhe diye to tere pass kitne bache???
pappu : 20
sir: kaise???
pappu : samajh na, tere baap ka kya jata hai!!! :p =))

Views : 390    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 27 Mar 2016

chinki ki class mein ek ladka aaya, chinki pe rob jhadne ke liye uske pass gaya aur bola
ladka: “meri jeans 2000 ki hai, meri shirt 1500 ki hai, mere jute 2500 ke hai”
chinki ne ye suna aur usko upar se niche tak dekha aur boli
chinki: “bhonsdi ke bas kar, pehle jeans ki zip band karle tera 20 rupaye ka phoolon wala kachha dikh raha hai“

Views : 352    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 Mar 2016

student:
sir log urdu english men bat krte hen,math men q nhi?
sir:
zyada 3,5 na kr 9,2,11 hoja warna 5,7 dhar dunga 6 k 36 nazar aynge or 32 k 32 bahir ajynge!
studnt:sir g urdu,english hi theek hy
math waqai bakwas subject hy:

Views : 357    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 Mar 2016

wife : aaj main towel mein thi aur
sasur ji aa gaye
husband : fir tumne kya kiya??
wife : jo rozana karti hu,
towel ko khol ke ghunghat bana
liya,
kuch sanskar mujhme bhi hain na..

Views : 350    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 Mar 2016

ek din pappu nadi k kinare jungle me lakdiya kat rha tha k
achanak uski kulhadi ( axe ) nadi me gir gai . .
wo rone laga to usko rote huye dekh kr
bhagwan ko uspe daya aa gai
bhagwan ne nadi me se ek sone( gold) ki axe nikal kr
pappu ko se kaha: ye lo tumari axe
pappu : ye meri axe nhi h
bhagwan ne fir nadi se silver ki axe nikal kr pappu ko diya
pappu ne silver ki axe lene se b mana kr diya
last me jab bhagwan ne pappu ki iron ki axe nikal kr di to
pappu ne jhat se wo axe le li. .
bhagwan , pappu ki imaandari dekh kr bahut khush huye or
paapu ko tenno axe( gold, silver and iron) de kr chale gye
thode dino bad , pappu ki wife nadi me gir gai, pappu fir rone laga
bhagwan ,nadi me se katrina kaif nikal kr pappu se bole:
kya yhi h tumari wife ?
pappu : ji , ha yhi h
bhagwan bahut naraz ho gye or bole: tum to bade imaandar the,
aaj tum ek sundar ladki k liye beimaan ban gye
pappu : hey, prabhu, me aaj b utna hi imaandar hu,
mene juth isliye bola q k, agar memana krta to fir
aap kareena kapoor ko nadi se nikal kr late, fir me mana kr deta
or last me aap meri wife ko nikal kr late , to me haa bol deta
fir aap meri imaandari dekh kr mujhe teeno wife
katrina, kareena or meri wife de kr chale jate
me lakdiya katne wala gareb insaan , teen-teen wife afford nhikr sakta.

Views : 408    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 26 Mar 2016

boy : what is ur name?
girl : kyu bataon, me tumhein nahi janti
boy: na batao me konsa tumhen apni new
honda
car main bitha k 5 star resturant le jane
wala tha
girl: jasmin, b.com final year, delhi college.
college timing 8am to 1pm,
friday timing 8 to 12pm
sunday off
aati papa k sath hun
wapsi pe akeli hoti hon..!
haha :p

Views : 797    |    Comments : 0    |    Post Comment Joke Posted on : 25 Mar 2016